Now That I Know LXLight
by Animeniac135
Summary: NEW SUMMARY: Light has a chance to change the things that happened between him and Ryuuzaki. How will he use his second chance? Will he waste it and let the ending happen like it did, or change it into a happy ending? ...LXLight.. IS BEING CONTINUED
1. Chapter 1 Version 1

Title: Now That I Know

Anime: Death Note

Pairing: L X Light

Type: One Shot

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Death Note, the characters, or anything related to it. TT

Summary: It's been a week since Ryuuzaki's burial, and Light's finally coming to understand how much he really needed Ryuuzaki.

_Excerpt:__ "I wonder," he whispered taking a pen from his pants pocket, "what would happen if you wrote your own name in the Death Note."_

Categories: Angst, Shounen-ai / Romance……

A/N: I tried my hardest to capture what I thought Light would be feeling if this actually happened. Let me know if I did well.

_**Important!**_

There is a huge possibility that I will change this.. I don't think it's quite good enough so.. yeah…

**_There is also a second version. It seems to be better (at least in my eyes)_**

**_Let me know how it is.. I'm considering continuing.. what do you think? _**

* * *

Now That I Know

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Death Note One Shot

"It's been a week since your burial," Light whispered as he knelt before the crimson carpeted alter. He placed the palms of his hands upon the carpet and gritted his teeth sharply, "And I can't stop remembering everything about you."

Light shifted his numbing feet as rainbow light shone through the stained glass window splaying over his body. Light shifted closer to the dark wooden table upon which the coffin of his one true love had sat only a week before.

He lifted his head slowly and glanced across the table at the torn page of the Death Note he had brought. "I wonder," he whispered taking a pen from his pants pocket, "What would happen if you wrote your own name in the Death Note."

Pulling back from the table suddenly he fell to the hard floor missing the long emerald cushioned pews by an inch. "No," he raised his voice dropping the pen to the floor, "I'm not that weak. I don't love _anyone_ that much."

He lifted his head and gazed at the portrait of his love hanging upon the wall. Light frowned; he could remember exactly when and how they had hung the picture on the night of his burial. Every eye at least shed one tear. Every eye that is, except Light's.

"Ryuuzaki," Light groaned standing slowly. He kicked the pew closest to him and let out a cry of pain, "Why aren't you here?" he screamed throwing himself against the table as the wall built to block tears was destroyed.

"Why?" he screamed beating against the table with both fists, "Why did it have to be you?" He let the ripped paper fall to the floor and slowed the jarring blows to the table.

"Fuck this love-hate-relationship!" he screamed hearing his voice echo through the building, "Fuck it! I'm not supposed to depend on someone else."

Light let his hands fall limp to the table and took slow deep breaths. "You," he whispered, "you're not supposed to mean so much to me." He rose to his feet slowly and gazed dizzily up into the ceiling, "L, I'm Kira," he whispered. "L," he raised his voice backing away from the table entwining his hands in his hair; "I'm _**Kira**_!"

"I-," Light groaned falling to his knees, "I don't want to chase after one another anymore." He took slow steps toward the portrait on the wall and called, "All this time it was me chasing you, and you chasing me. It was Kira, the murderer, versus L, the genius detective."

He raised his hand to touch the portrait, but reeled his hand away quickly, "Ryuuzaki," he whispered, "Why didn't you see through me?" He gritted his teeth as he rolled his hands into fists once again, "Why couldn't you tell?" he screamed throwing himself against the portrait.

"I need you," he screamed punching the portrait softly, "I need you, you idiot." He pushed himself closer to the portrait and glanced up into the onyx eyes of his lost love. "I _need _you, Ryuuzaki," he whispered pulling away from the portrait. "No," he whispered, "no," his voice grew loser as he backed closer to the table.

He reached to the floor and took the torn paper into his hand. Taking slow steps backwards he took the pen by his foot and knelt before the table.

Quickly he scratched one word onto the paper. He looked over it as teardrops blurred his eyes and stained the paper. It read- "Yagami".

Light raised his head and stared at the portrait once more, "Well?" he yelled, "Are you going to stop me? Are you going to say anything?" He stood still as if expecting a reply from the face in the portrait, "Ryuuzaki." He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists as he knelt by the table once more.

He took the pen into his hand and brought it down to the paper. "Ryuuzaki," he whispered, "Ryuuzaki," he repeated scratching an _L _onto the paper, "Ryuuzaki." He continued; he had written _I, g, _and_ h._

As he lowered the pen to write the final letter a cold hand wrapped around his wrist, "Light." A sadly familiar voice echoed through the building.

Light's eyes grew wide, and his hand unconsciously released the pen. It hit the table with a thump spilling ink over the paper permanently erasing the name nearly written there.

"Ryuuzkai?" Light gasped staring blankly at the hand resting upon his wrist, "No," he whispered, "you're-." He stopped as that hand yanked him back into the warm body behind him. "I'm dreaming," he whispered closing his eyes tightly, "I'm dreaming."

"Light," that voice came again ringing like soft beautiful bells in his ears, "Kira is destined to be miserable, with or without anyone else."

Light felt his eyes overflow and took a breath, "Ryuuzaki," he whispered pushing himself closer to the warm body, "Kira or no Kira, I didn't want this. If I had known it would turn out like this I never would have started at all." He took a deep breath as another hand fell upon his shoulder, "I'm sorry."

The warmth increased as slender arms surrounded him. "It would be a shame if Light-Kun was Kira," the voice whispered in his ear, "because Light-Kun is my first real friend."

Light let out a breath, "But, Ryuuzaki," he gasped feeling the arms around him hold him tighter, "I- I am Kira." He opened his eyes expecting the heat to fade, and for the body of his love to pull away.

Instead, the boys chin rested on Light's shoulder, "I've always known, haven't I?"

Light turned his head and bit his lip seeing the face of his beloved, "Ryuuzaki," he whispered, "it is you." He let his head fall back against Ryuuzaki's shoulder and stared blankly at the ceiling. "But you're dead," he whispered, "aren't you?"

Ryuuzaki smiled, almost a smirk, and moved away from him. Slowly he moved around Light so that he crouched before him, "Light," he whispered lifting a hand to touch the boy's cheek, "why would I leave you?"

"I killed you," Light whispered leaning into the touch, "since I met you I've been trying to kill you." He stared hazily into the boy's eyes, "I'm sorry," he whispered moving forward and wrapping his arms around Ryuuzaki's neck. He pulled closer to the boy and smiled solemnly, "I love you, Ryuuzaki."

Ryuuzaki placed his hands on Light's shoulders and pushed him slightly away. With a smile he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Light's softly.

The moment seemed to last forever, and that was all Light wanted. For this moment to last forever would be the answer to every single prayer he had ever made.

Light pulled away reluctantly and frowned. "But," he whispered, "that doesn't matter now, does it? No matter how much I love you," he lifted his hands and placed them awkwardly on Ryuuzaki's shoulders, "You can't love me back, can you?"

Ryuuzaki gave a sigh and said, "Why would I not be able to?" He lifted his hands to Light's cheeks and smiled, "You think I haven't loved you already?"

Running his fingers over Light's cheeks Ryuuzaki leaned forward and kissed his neck, "Why didn't _you _see through _me_?" he whispered.

"R-Ryuuzaki," Light stuttered, "I- I-."

A loud noise erupted from the back of the building; Light's head snapped back as the door swung open. "F- Father," Light whispered as two men started down the aisle. "Matsuda," he whispered turning away from them hoping, praying that his love was still there. He reeled back seeing nothing but carpeted floor beneath him, "No," he gasped falling backward. "I wasn't dreaming- I know I wasn't."

"Light," his father gasped taking hold of his shoulders, "calm down, Light."

Matsuda attempted to aid Yagami, but was merely knocked to the floor as Light became violent, "Ryuuzaki!" he screamed pulling out of his father's grip. He knelt by the table and took the stained paper from the floor, "Ryuuzaki," he whispered, "take me to wherever you are, please, don't leave me."

"Get a hold of yourself, Light-kun," Matsuda whispered, "We're all very upset about Ryuuzaki's death. We under-."

"No!" Light yelled, "you don't understand; you never will. None of you will ever understand it- you'll never know how bad I feel, or how much pain is building up inside me. You'll never know."

His father took his shoulder again and knelt behind his son, "Light, you and Ryuuzaki got along so well; It's a shame that-."

Light pulled away and stood, "No, that's a lie, this whole time I was nothing more than a suspect in the Kira Case who L was trying to prove guilty, but, even though I didn't know it then, I wanted more than that." He took the pen from the floor and backed against the wall, "That's why," he whispered holding the pen loosely in his hand, "I want someone to write _my _name."

Both men gasped with horror but hesitated to move any closer to the boy. "Light," his father whispered stretching his hands out in front of him to his son.

Matsuda let his chin fall to his chest, "But, Light-kun, we need you here to help us solve the Kira Case. Don't you want to get back at Kira for killing Ryuuzaki?"

Light took quick breaths through his teeth, "There is no Kira Case if I'm gone, Matsuda." He screamed without a second thought. He was going to be with Ryuuzaki, dead or alive.

"Light-kun," Matsuda said loudly, "What do you mean by that?"

Light took a deep breath and reached toward his watch, "I'm," he began placing to fingers around the small knob on the side of the watch. He pulled it three times and smiled slightly as the silver plate slid out from underneath it. On the plate was a ripped paper and a needle, "Kira," he whispered moving the pen close to the paper, "I'm Kira," he said writing his last name on the small scrap of paper for the second time.

His father gasped, "Light," he whispered deciding not to move his feet.

Matsuda shifted forward, "Light-kun," he whispered. His eyes snapped as he realized what Light was doing, "Light-kun," he raised his voice taking quick steps toward the boy, "Would Ryuuzaki want you to do that? Would he want you to use it in that way?"

Light steadied the pen after writing L-i-g-h and looked across the room at Matsuda, "If he didn't want me to he'd stop me," he said before whispering, "again." He wrote half of the final letter, "Stop me, Ryuuzaki," he thought silently, "stop me or meet me on the other side."

Light gasped as a bright light flooded through the room, and the shredded piece of paper was diminished to nothing but ash. All matter faded away, and slowly the light subsided and the soft voice came once again.

"Light-kun."

Light was reluctant to open his weary eyes.

"Light-kun," the voice grew louder.

Slowly, Light let his eyes open and gazed up into the strangely familiar ceiling. He gasped; it was the ceiling he remembered from Headquarters. He sat up quickly, but stopped as he saw a familiar face before him. "Ryuuzaki- again- but- but, you're – you're dead."

"Dead?" Ryuuzaki whispered climbing onto the chair behind him. He wheeled the chair closer to Light and placed a finger on his lips, "I'm not."

Yagami walked into the room and smiled to Light, "Light, you passed out. Ryuuzaki sat beside you until you woke."

Light turned from face to face, "But- what is today's date?"

"November 4, 2004," Yagami said giving his son an eerie look, "You were only out for ten minutes; are you alright?"

(Nov. 4, 2004 is the day before L's death)

Light let out a breath and nodded. Now, he could remember being Kira, he could remember re-acquiring the Death Note, he could remember having Rem and Ryuk at Headquarters, he could also remember everything that had happened afterwards- things that had not yet happened. "But," he thought, "Just because it happened once doesn't mean it has to happen again."

"I'm fine, father," he said turning from his father to Ryuuzaki, "Ryuuzaki, how does another game of tennis sound?" He saw a glimmer in Ryuuzaki's eyes followed by a slight smile.

"Perfect," Ryuuzaki said lifting himself from the chair as Light stood slowly, "afterwards we can stop and get cake."

Light smiled; the glimmer in Ryuuzaki's eyes brightened. As they began across the floor Light looked the boy over head-to-toe. "This really is real" he thought silently, "and now that I know what would happen; I have to change the ending into one that's better."

* * *

**_Should I continue it?_**

**_NOW... Read Version 2, Please!_**

**_It's much better (in my eyes)_**

**_  
_**


	2. Chapter 1 Version 2

_ Now That I Know _**  
_VERSION 2_**

Title: Now That I Know

Anime: Death Note

Pairing: L X Light

Type: One Shot (possible chapter story –depending on what responses I get)

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Death Note, the characters, or anything related to it. cries

Summary: It's been a week since Ryuuzaki's burial, and Light's finally coming to understand how much he really needed Ryuuzaki.

Categories: Angst, Shounen-ai / Romance

A/N: I'm not sure if this is any better, but I felt like posting it to see what you all think of it.

Now That I Know

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Death Note – One Shot

_**Version 2**_

Light gave a sigh kneeling before the crimson carpeted alter; a fear he had never felt arose within his stomach as he placed the palms of his hands flat upon the floor. "It's already been a week since they buried you," he whispered gritting his teeth sharply, "and even though I've tried so hard to forget about you I can't. No matter how hard I try I can't stop remembering you."

Slowly he shifted on the floor resting his knees beneath him. A bright rainbow light shone through the stained glass window splaying over his body. At this moment he looked more like a god than he knew, but at this moment being a god didn't matter to him. All that mattered was L, Ryuuzaki, Ryuuga, and the name that was unknown to the world.

Light crawled closer to the dark wooden table and choked back the waterfall of tears he had held in the night he watched his true love being lowered into the cold earth. He squinted and groaned that was not where Ryuuzaki deserved to be. He dismissed the thought and placed his hands on the table-top; this was the table upon which the coffin of his love had sat merely a week ago.

Giving a sigh of disbelief he reached into his pocket taking a small piece of paper folded sloppily. He unfolded it and placed it before him on the table. Again he reached into his pocket and took a pen from it slowly, "You know," he whispered placing it atop the unfolded piece of paper, "I've always wondered what would happen," he paused lifting himself to his feet, "what would happen if you wrote your own name in the Death Note."

After making a small mark on the paper he reeled away from table dropping the pen to the carpeted floor, "No," he whispered looking through the corner of his eye at the long cross mounted upon the wall of the church. He scoffed slightly and turned away; there was no god, if there was he wouldn't have found the Death Note, and none of this would have happened. Light bit his tongue and leaned against the emerald cushioned pews. Not long ago all he wanted was to be god; to make an imperfect world into Utopia, but that could never really be done.

Light lifted his head slowly and watched the long beautiful portrait of Ryuuzaki hanging on the wall near the cross. Light bit his lip unnoticeably and frowned. The person in this portrait was the one person he felt was his equivalent, his match in every way. He closed his eyes slightly; he could remember when they hung the portrait in the church the night they placed the innocent boy into the cold dark earth.

"But," Light said pacing forward through the dim church with a million different thoughts spinning within his mind, "I am _not _weak; this whole time I've never had anyone. I've never needed anyone," he raised his voice as he continued drawing closer to the large almost life-size portrait of the boy whose name had been spiraling through Light's head ever since that terrible day. "Never," he repeated loudly, "and I sure as hell don't need anyone now; not after I've finally got what I wanted. Now that you're gone I'll be able to make my dream of a perfect world a reality." He licked his lips slowly he had yelled every word almost as if he were speaking to someone he despised.

"But if this is what I wanted," he whispered stepping forward now within touching distance of the portrait, "why do I feel so uneasy, so unsettled." He rested a hand upon the hand of the boy in the portrait and frowned. "Why do I feel like I miss you? I've never missed anyone like this," he lowered his head and looked sideways at the portrait, "I doubt I'd miss my own family like this."

His lips quivered as he pulled away suddenly throwing a hard blow against the portrait, "_**Why**_?" he yelled holding his clinched fist against the portrait, "I don't understand this. I don't even understand myself." He pulled away suddenly and took quick steps backward until he stood by the table in the exact place he had only moments before.

Light took the pen in his hand and bit his lip as hard as possible causing a drop of crimson blood to run down his chin and drop to the table staining the paper with its owner's blood. "I can't love _you_," he whispered scratching his last name onto the first line of the paper. Second after second the wall built to contain the waterfall of tears was decaying and soon was destroyed.

Tears fell from his eyes down his cheeks staining the paper with his own sorrow. Light shook his head and buried his hands into his hair, "No," he groaned, "No, I don't love you." Slowly he lifted himself up again and scratched the first four letters of his first name after his last.

Slowly he stood and turned to the portrait; his eyes sharpened with anger as he yelled once more at the boy in the portrait, "Well?" he began loudly, "Are you going to stop me? Are you going to say anything?" He hesitated, "Do you even care about me anymore?" He raised his hands to his shirt drenched with his own tears and gritted his teeth closing his eyes tightly. Ryuuzaki didn't care; no one really cared. He let out a cry of pain and scratched half of the last letter onto the paper.

As he began the final stroke a cold hand appeared holding his wrist, "Light," the voice that still sent shivers up his spine as well as anger to his heart echoed through the building ringing soft beautiful bells in his ears. "What are you doing? You know Kira is destined to be alone and miserable no matter who supports him."

Light let out a gasp and turned his head slightly, "You- you're not real," he whispered trying to convince himself, "you- you're dead. I know; I watched you die." He took slow breaths and bit his lip, "I have to be dreaming; this can't be real."

Warmth surrounded him as slender arms wrapped around his cold body. Unconsciously his hand released the pen; it made a thump as it hit the table spilling ink over the paper erasing the name, the blood, and the tears permanently.

"You really think this is a dream?" the voice came again as Light's body froze in horror, "Just look at me. Do I look like a hallucination?" Slowly the warmth decreased as the body behind him circled him and crouched slightly before him.

Light let out a silent gasp and let his mouth hand open, "R- Ryuuzaki." He moved away closing his mouth suddenly, "What are you here for? Do you want to punish me for being Kira? Or maybe you want to tell me that you're not really L; that you were just a decoy like Lind L. Taylor, and that you tricked me into killing you. Is that it?"

A strong hand held Light still as the boy before him moved slightly closer, "I'm L," the boy whispered, "and Kira may be a criminal, but Light is my best friend." He raised a hand and placed it upon Light's shoulder softly, "I'm talking to Light not Kira." He shifted his hand rested it on Light's neck, "In my eyes Light is much better than Kira." He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Light's without hesitation.

Light attempted to close his eyes and be engulfed in the moment, but his body refused to cooperate. He forced his eyes closed and pulled himself closer to Ryuuzaki finally forcing himself to believe in this moment. _"If this is a dream," _he thought silently, _"let it never end."_

Slowly Ryuuzaki pulled away and whispered, "And Light is the one I love." He pulled Light close to him and smiled, "I'd never leave him."

No more words were exchanged for quite some time; they sat in silence both held tightly within each others arms. Love, hate, anger, jealousy, lust, longing, and deceitfulness melted away, and that moment seemed to last an eternity.

A crash echoed through the church building rattling the chandelier hanging high above and shaking the long wooden pews. Light pulled away from Ryuuzaki and turned to the source of the crash. A man shaded in darkness walked down the aisle keeping a steady pace as he approached the boy sitting upon his knees on the carpeted floor.

"Light-kun," the voice was familiar, very familiar, "your father's been looking for you. He says he's found something on Ryuuzaki's computer that might interest you. He wants you to come right away." The man stopped half-way down the aisle and smiled to Light, "By the way," he hesitated, "what are you doing here? It's kind-of depressing how this room is where they brought Ryuuzaki. I-."

"Shut-up, Matsuda," Light groaned turning back to where the boy had sat only a second before. He felt his heart drop into his stomach, his eyes grew wide, and he choked upon his own breath. "Ryuuzaki," he whispered placing the palms of his hands upon the floor, "Please, don't leave me again. I know I said I could be alone, but I need someone. No, I don't need _someone _I need _you_."

Matsuda quickened his pace and placed his hands upon Light's shoulders keeping him still, "Light-kun," he said softly, "Are you alright? I know you're upset about Ryuuzaki's death, but so are we. Everyone else is extremely sad about it too. We all understand how you feel. It'll be alright."

Light turned his head slightly and shook his head scoffing; they'd never understand, no one could understand. He lost the one person who related to him, the one person he truly cared about. "You don't," he said simply tearing away from Matsuda, "you never will; no one will." He searched the room desperately for a sign of the one he loved. Where? Where had he disappeared to? Would he come back? These questions and more circled 'round in his head like a carrousel.

"Light-kun," Matsuda whispered stepping forward, "I'm sure you feel terrible about this, but don't do something you'd regret. You still have your father, your mother, your sister, and all of us left at headquarters. We still respect you; after all, you are the second L. We still need you to solve the Kira Case."

"No," Light whispered taking a step farther away from Matsuda, "I don't have anyone. Now that Ryuuzaki's gone I have no one." He turned slowly in Matsuda's direction and frowned, "Also, I am not the second L. I'm nowhere near what the real L was. I never will be like L; he was better than I was. He always was."

Matsuda shook his head stepping closer to Light, "Light-kun," he said softly but stopped; for once in his life he was lost for words.

Light turned away and took slow steps across the floor until he reached the dark wall of the church. He leaned against it slowly making sure not to touch the beautiful portrait and pulled up the sleeve of his light gray jacket revealing the silver clad watch on his wrist. He placed two fingers upon the knob on the side of the watch and smiled sadly before pulling it three times. A plate slid out from underneath revealing a torn paper and a needle.

He reached into his pocket and took another pen into his hand. Slowly he brought it down to the paper and wrote his last name for the second time. This time Ryuuzaki would not stop him; this time it would work. This time he would die; this time he would be the one whose coffin would lie upon the dark table in front of the church, he would be the one who they would lower into the cold hard ground alongside his true love, he would be the one whose portrait would hang upon the wall near his love's. In only a few moments he would be the one who would be missed.

"Light-kun?" Matsuda whispered giving him a look of confusion, "Is that-?" His eyes widened as he realized what Light was doing. "Light-kun, please, Ryuuzaki wouldn't want you to do that. He wouldn't want you to use the Death Note like that. Don't you want to get back at Kira? He killed Ryuuzaki, right? So, let's catch Kira and get back at him for what he did to Ryuuzaki. Don't just give up like that."

"No, Matsuda, there will be no 'getting back at Kira'," he said writing the first three letters of his name beside his last, "Because if I'm gone, Kira is gone. If I die, Kira dies. And as for Ryuuzaki not wanting me to; if he didn't want me to he'd stop me," he hesitated before whispering, "again," under his breath. _"Ryuuzaki," _he thought solemnly, _"Please, give me one more chance."_

Matsuda took slow steps forward; his footsteps echoed through the building loudly almost like the beating of a heart, Light's heart. "Light-kun," he whispered under his breath unable to raise his voice any higher.

Light let out a gasp of surprise a bright light flooded the room. The pews, the alter, the table, the walls, the floors, the ceiling, and even Matsuda faded away. All that remained was Light's numb body. He closed his eyes slightly as the bright light engulfed him like water from the ocean.

"_Light-kun,"_ a soft familiar voice echoed.

Light closed his eyes tightly reluctant to open them; what would he see if he opened his eyes? Would he be in heaven; would he be in hell?

"_Light-kun," _the voice grew louder and closer to him.

Slowly Light allowed his eyes to open and sat up unconsciously as he realized who was seated next to him on the cold floor. "R- Ryuuzaki, but- but, you're- you're d- dead." He placed the palms of his hands upon the cold floor and shivered hearing Ryuuzaki respond.

"Dead?" Ryuuzaki whispered lifting a finger and placing it upon his bottom lip. He fixed his gaze on Light and frowned slightly before replying, "I'm not." Slowly he lifted himself onto the leather chair behind him and wheeled it closer to light. "You passed out; you must not be getting enough sleep, Light-kun. You were out for ten minutes, and your father's still home with your mother and sister."

Light nodded standing slowly, "Ryuuzaki," he said softly and blinked seeing Ryuuzaki turn to him, "What is today's date?" he asked tilting his head to the side slowly.

Ryuuzaki gave him an eerie look and half frowned, "Today's date? It's November 4, 2004. You shouldn't have forgotten the date after being out for only ten minutes," he said leaning forward in the seat to look closer at Light, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Light whispered scrambling to his feet and smiling to Ryuuzaki. Now, he could remember being Kira; he could remember Misa- the second Kira-, he could remember being imprisoned, being released, finding the fake Kira, and having Rem and Ryuk at Headquarters. He could also remember things that happened afterwards, things that had not yet happened. _"Just because it happened once doesn't mean it has to happen again."_

Light smiled slightly to himself and turned to face Ryuuzaki, "How does a game of tennis sound?" he asked stepping closer to Ryuuzaki, "Afterwards we can stop at a restaurant and get some cake." He gave Ryuuzaki a smile and stepped away giving Ryuuzaki room to stand beside him.

Ryuuzaki nodded, "It sounds prefect," he said as he turned to Light slowly, "You know, Light-kun, it seems almost like you've changed drastically. Did something happen while you were out? A nightmare?"

"Yeah," Light answered nodding slightly, "A nightmare." He smiled slightly and followed as Ryuuzaki started across the floor. Light turned to Ryuuzaki slowly and smiled seeing a bright glimmer in his dark onyx eyes._ "This is real," _he thought silently, _"and now that I know what would happen. I'm going to change the ending that would have been into one that's better. I'll make sure to do everything right. I won't make any more mistakes, none." _ He turned to Ryuuzaki slightly as they exited the building and smiled, _"And I'll never let an opportunity pass me by. Especially this one."_


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_A/N – Yes, I decided to continue it.. I started the one shot hoping it was good enough to continue anyway, so..yeah! Well, anyway.. about this whole thing.. just a warning.. Light is not like he was in the anime.. like he won't burst out into a random fit of laughter or anything like that.. I did that kinda on purpose.. I wanted to stay close to what his personality was, but change it slightly. So, as you read this you'll come to know a new (kinda love-sick) Light… Anyway, sorry about that.. Enjoy! And please review! I'll give you a cookie! holds cookie up (oh L will quite possibly change too.. that's just what I do…)  
A/N 2: there's a particular sentence in here that confused even me a-little. So, just a warning. Pay attention to whether the word "light" is capitalized or not. If you don't it'll confuse you later.. _

With a sigh of exhaustion Light plopped down in the leather cushioned booth across from his former opponent. "Well, Ryuuzaki, that's the second game you've lost," he said leaning forward, his hands resting on the cold wooden table. "I'm beginning to think you've let me win."

Ryuuzaki shifted his feet and gave Light a half-smile raising a hand to attract a waiter. "I've never _let _anyone win," he said letting his hand fall to the table as the closest waiter motioned for a second. "But," he began drumming his fingers against the hard table top, "if I was to let someone win," he paused taking the bowl of butter capsules from the end of the table, "it would be you." He took the capsules from the bowl and stacked them into a pyramid shape.

Light let out a slight laugh and smiled, "You have a strange obsession," he said taking the capsule from the top of the pyramid, "You waste time doing this." He placed the capsule on the table and held his hand over it keeping it from Ryuuzaki. Giving a mischievous smirk he took it from the table and set it beside him on the seat.

"Light-kun," Ryuuzaki said staring still at the place where the capsule had been, "That was something Kira would do." Slowly, he raised his eyes and stared into Light's eyes, "And this is _not_ a waste of time," he said taking the capsules one by one and placing them in a straight line on the table, "it's actually very amusing." Obviously distracted from his work he looked up at Light once more, "Speaking of which, did you leave Misa-san alone at Headquarters?"

"_Shit," _Light thought silently shifting in the seat. He had forgotten about Misa; this whole time _she _had not crossed his mind. _"Misa," _he thought, _"She's in the way."_ Suddenly, thoughts began swarming like angry bees in his mind. Rem was still at Headquarters and tomorrow was to be the day that Ryuuzaki died. Light shifted uncomfortably; he couldn't hurt Misa either or else Rem would automatically blame him for her unhappiness and kill him.

Silently Light thought on what he remembered from the future and bit his lip unconsciously. There was so much he had to change; so many mistakes he had made. "If only this had happened sooner," Light whispered unconsciously, as soon as the words escaped his lips he covered his mouth and glanced up at Ryuuzaki who stared back.

"If what had happened sooner, Light-kun?" he asked dropping a capsule of butter to the floor.

Light took a deep breath; how could he respond? It would sound crazy if he said, 'Ryuuzaki, you died, and I was miserable without you so time went backwards.' Taking another breath he closed his eyes considering what he would say, "Nothing, Ryuuzaki, something just came up and I was thinking aloud." Once he had finished he inwardly scolded himself; that response sounded worse coming from his lips than it had in his mind. He looked across at Ryuuzaki; he didn't seem convinced either.

Ryuuzaki averted his attention back to the capsules lying in a straight line in front of him. He moved them across the table slowly creating a pattern that seemed to mean nothing. As he began to move the final capsule a man dressed in a red vest and black pants took slow steps up to the table.

"Excuse me," he said causing the two boys to turn to him slowly, "My name's Sora; what can I get you?" He reached into the pocket of his pants and took out a small notebook before taking a pencil from behind his ear.

With a quick glance at Light Ryuuzaki responded, "I'd like some shortcake and a cup of coffee," he said turning to Light slowly. "Please, get him the same thing, but with a cup of water instead," Ryuuzaki said hesitantly as he turned back to the pattern of butter capsules on the table.

"Oh," the boy chuckled scribbling words onto the notepad, "You two are pretty cute together," he said shoving the notepad into his pocket slowly. "You on a date?" he asked stepping slightly away from the table as the two boys threw him awkward glances. He bit his lip and smiled slightly, "Sorry," he said taking quick steps away from the table.

The two boys sat in silence as Ryuuzaki sat back in the seat. Light glanced over him and looked down at the pattern he had created with the capsules. Holding in a gasp he whispered, "My name?" Looking closely at the pattern he could see the spaces in the center seemed to spell out "Light". Light shook his head, why would Ryuuzaki purposefully create a pattern that spelled his name?

Ryuuzaki glanced up at him and nodded, "You really are amazing," he looked over the pattern again and smiled, "I was trying to hide it; I'm not surprised you found it though." His face darkened for a moment as he turned away from Light and frowned solemnly, "But-," he whispered.

Light held his breath; so, Ryuuzaki had his doubts too. Maybe they had the same doubts; there were so many things in their way: Misa, Rem, the Death Note, Ryuk, and most of all Kira. Ryuuzaki's suspicion of Light had been correct from the beginning. If Ryuuzaki realized that his suspicions had been right there would be no us or we; it would always be L versus Kira like it always had been.

Slowly light came over Ryuuzaki's face, and he leaned forward slightly placing his hands on his knees, "Don't worry about it, Light-kun, soon I'll be able to find the second Kira. Once I've found the other Death Note this will be over. Because, according to my calculations there are only two notebooks. Once we've found them both and either returned them to the Shingamis or burned them no one will have to worry about it again."

"Ryuuzaki," Light said softly hoping no one would overhear. Ryuuzaki turned to him and blinked waiting for a response, "Do you still suspect me of being Kira? Do you still suspect Misa of being the second Kira?"

Ryuuzaki blinked and slowly lowered his eyes to the table, "Right now it's hard to be certain," he said tightening his grip on his knees. "I'm not proud to admit it, but my emotions are clouding my judgment, and this isn't something that happens to me often." He glanced at Light again, "As for Misa-san, as I've said before, it's extremely obvious that she's the second Kira, but as of now there's nothing I can do about it."

"Then, when will you be certain, Ryuuzaki?" Light asked leaning forward slightly as the couple seated in the booth by theirs gave them eerie looks. "When will you know if I'm Kira or not?"

"Who knows," Ryuuzaki said leaning back away from Light, "maybe I'll never know for sure." He gave Light a smile that sent shivers down his spine. "Besides, now the possibility of you being Kira is," he hesitated, "one percent if not less."

Nearly paralyzed with shock Light nodded simply and turned as the same boy stepped up to the table and placed two white cups as well as two small plates holding two identical pieces of cake and decorated around the rim with small painted flowers. "There you go," the boy said stepping away and giving both of them a wide smile, "sorry for the wait."

Ryuuzaki nodded, "Thank you," he said as the boy took slow steps away from the table.

Taking a fork from the side of the table Ryuuzaki pulled the plate closer and plunged the fork through it. He took off a small piece of the cake with the fork and lifted it to his lips, but before taking a bite he turned to Light slightly and blinked, "Light-kun," he said attracting Light's attention, "are you alright?"

Light nodded, "I'm fine, Ryuuzaki," he said giving him a slight smile, "I was just thinking over a few things." He took the remaining plate and pushed it toward Ryuuzaki, "Here, I'm not going to eat this. You can have it." He took the cup of clear liquid from the end of the table and lifted it to his lips, _"What are we going to do, Ryuuzaki?"_ he thought silently taking a sip from the cup. So far, this was one of the few questions he longed to ask Ryuuzaki out loud, but what good would that do? Light shook his head; it would hurt no matter what he did.

"Light."

His head jerked up and his eyes grew wide; Ryuuzaki had just called him by his name, not Light-kun or Yagami-kun, but Light. Light breathed deeply seeing the concern written on Ryuuzaki's face.

Ryuuzaki placed the fork next to the plate and leaned forward placing his hand on Light's forehead, "Hmmmm," he hummed shifting to look into Light's eyes, "you don't seem to be sick; do you feel alright?" he asked pulling away and sitting back in the seat.

Light nodded unsure of how to respond, "I'm fine, Ryuuzaki," he whispered sipping the water from the cold cup, "I was just thinking."

"Then think aloud," Ryuuzaki said through a mouthful of soft yellow cake. After swallowing a mouthful he glanced at Light and said, "It doesn't matter what you're thinking about; it helps to clarify your thoughts if you vocalize them, especially if you have another person to listen to you." Slowly, he opened his mouth and shoved the piece of cake into his mouth closing his lips around it, "So, think."

Light blinked still holding the cup close to his lips, "I can't he said lowering the cup to the tabletop. "Now that you've said something about it I can't think of anything." He smiled awkwardly and sat back in the seat watching closely as Ryuuzaki finished the cake and pushed the plate away from himself.

Before making another move he turned to Light, "Are you positive you don't want his?" he asked taking the plate that held the final piece of cake. "I can give you half, or if you want it I'll give it to you." He picked up the plate and held it in Light's direction, "Here."

Light shook his head and held a hand out in front of him, "No, no Ryuuzaki, I don't want it," he said knocking the nearly full cup of coffee over the table. He stood up quickly bumping his knee on the tabletop, "Ouch," he gasped crouching in the seat as the hot liquid spilled over the side of the tabletop into his lap.

A man dressed in the same uniform as their waiter came from a back room carrying an armful of towels. He placed half of them on the seat next to Light and used the others to clean the table thoroughly. "There," he sighed once the table had been completely cleaned off. He turned toward Light and smiled, "You can use the other towels to dry off; if you'd like a change of clothes one of our employees are home sick today and his uniform's still here."

Light nodded awkwardly sliding out of the booth. He stepped forward and felt his face burn crimson as his shoes made a loud sound. He turned feeling a hand on his back.

"It's alright, Light-kun," Ryuuzaki whispered leading him through the somewhat crowded diner. They reached the door marked with a "restroom" sign, and Ryuuzaki pulled Light into the small bright room.

The bright light reflected off of the white tiled walls and floors. Ryuuzaki dropped the clean white towels to the floor, "Were you embarrassed?" he asked picking up one of the towels, "I'm sorry, it was my fault." He turned the knob on the side of the facet and held the corner of the towel under the running water until it had turned nearly grey damp with water. He wrung it out and placed it on the clean white counter before taking a step closer to Light, "Do you want to take off your shirt? It's stained."

Light looked down at the pure white shirt soiled by a large brown stain taking up nearly half of the shirt. He sight and shook his head, "No," he said backing against the wall, "I'd rather not."

Ryuuzaki nodded taking the wet towel from the counter and holding it out to Light, "Here," he said loosening his grip on the towel, "at least try to wash it out." He smiled as Light took the towel and slowly moved it over the stain.

Giving a sigh Light threw the brown stained towel into the sink and turned to Ryuuzaki, "Should we go back out? Do you think people will remember what happened?"

Letting out a loud laugh Ryuuzaki picked up the towels on the floor, "Of course they'll remember, but what does it matter? Do you honestly care what they think? None of them will every see you again, and tomorrow morning they won't even remember what happened. They'll have more important things to do than think about the guy who spilled coffee." He took a step closer to Light and continued, "In fact," he said placing a hand close to Light's cheek, "I thought it was cute."

Light took a breath and pulled away as Ryuuzaki leaned closer. "I- I-," he gasped breathing deeply, "I'm sorry, Ryuuzaki, it's just-."

"I know," Ryuuzaki said taking the towels he had placed on the counter into his arms, "Let's just pay and get back to headquarters. Your father should be there soon." He took slow steps to the door and pushed it open before glancing back at Light and walking through the door to the table slowly.

Light stood outside the door watching as Ryuuzaki gave the towels back to one of the waiters, paid them for the meal, and thanked them for their help. _"I'm so sorry,"_ Light thought silently, _"I don't know why, but I don't want to show any kind of emotion until this is over. I want you and me to be together when things are better; when Kira's whole memory is forgotten, and the case is over. When life is back to how it should be; that's when I'll show you how much I really love you. That's when we'll be together." _

He hesitated as Ryuuzaki took slow steps toward him a small box held in his hands, but followed as Ryuuzaki led him through the restaurant and out into the bright afternoon sun. Glancing at Ryuuzaki Light frowned; the shimmer that had been in his eyes since that morning was gone. _"Ryuuzaki," _he thought silently, _"I don't mean to hurt you, but it'll only hurt more if we do something too soon." _He glanced at Ryuuzaki again and sighed, _"And even I don't know how long we'll have to wait. All I know is, someday we'll be together; someday I'll really be your best friend. Someday soon, and that's a promise."_

* * *

So? What do you think? Was it good, bad, terrible? Be completely honest! Thanks!

Oh yeah! If you're willing to do it if I'm going to continue this it'd be nice to have a beta.. so if you're willing to be my beta let me know, please : )


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

A/N- a number in parentheses, (#), means that there's a footnote at the end of the chapter about it.

"Light!" The girl yelled throwing her arms around his neck, "Misa missed you so much!" She kissed his cheek and lowered herself to the floor slowly turning to the boy behind her, "Oh, and you too Ryuuzaki." She turned back to Light and smiled brightly, "Where did you go, Light? You were gone so long; Misa was so worried. Even Light's dad didn't know where he was."

"Misa," Light groaned pulling away from her slightly, "today hasn't gone so well. It would be better if you didn't get involved." He sat on the sofa slowly and glanced at Ryuuzaki. They had walked back in silence standing always a few feet away from one another. The gleam in Ryuuzaki's eyes had not returned since that moment in the restaurant.

Misa gasped and turned to Ryuuzaki, "Ryuuzaki," she said stepping toward him, "What did you do to Light?" She placed her hands on her hips awaiting his response.

"Ah, Misa-san, something just happened that made Light-kun angry. We went to a restaurant, and he spilled my coffee," Ryuuzaki replied pointing to Light's stained shirt, "he was afraid that people would remember what happened."

With a sigh of slight relief Misa plopped down next Light and wrapped her arms around his neck, "Oh, Light, that's no reason to be so embarrassed. Misa will always love Light no matter what he does." She gave him a bright smiled and pulled close to him.

"_That's a lie," _Light told himself staring in Ryuuzaki's direction, _"because she can't really love me unless I love her." _Taking a deep breath Light responded, "Misa," he said in a voice that seemed to convey the feelings of frustration he had felt towards her for so long, "why don't you go out somewhere?"

Misa pulled away from Light and turned to look up at him, "Light, why? Misa's your girlfriend; you know, you can't just tell her to leave all the time. If we're always apart how will we have dates and get engaged?"

Light's eyes grew wide and he turned toward her slowly, "Misa," he said once again, "Please, I'm not saying I want you to leave forever, but I just want to be alone right now. I'm not feeling so well at the moment, and I'd like to be alone." He raised his hand and placed it on his forehead; he was beginning to remember why he had gotten headaches every day.

He turned to Ryuuzaki who had seated himself in the small crimson chair by the sofa. The open white box he had brought from the restaurant rested on his knees holding the left over piece of cake. Ryuuzaki didn't look back instead he stared down at the perfect piece of cake.

"Awwww," Misa groaned standing from the sofa reluctantly, "If Light is sick we should call a doctor. Misa would hate it if Light died because he got too sick." She stepped away and turned to Ryuuzaki before pouting her lips, "Ryuuzaki," she said changing her voice to its most aggravating tone, "how can you sit there when Light is feeling sick? Ryuuzaki should be the one calling a doctor for Light."

Ryuuzaki didn't look up; he seemed almost mesmerized by what was in the box. Light turned to Misa knowing that Ryuuzaki was not in the mood to comply. "Misa," he said as softly as possible, "why don't you just go on. We can go on a date later."

Misa's eyes grew wide and she smiled brightly, "Ok," she nearly sung as she skipped through the room and opened the door, "Misa will see Light later; then Misa and Light will have the best date ever without Ryuuzaki." She left the room slowly and closed the door behind her.

Light sat in silence staring at the now closed door. Slowly he turned to Ryuuzaki, but his expression did not change. He bit his lip as Ryuuzaki shifted but seemingly refused to look back at Light. _"So this is the punishment for saying no." _Light thought to himself, _"You're cruel."_

Slowly Ryuuzaki closed the box and set it beside the chair on the floor. He moved his legs and placed his feet on the floor, "I'll leave to, Light-kun, your father says he found something new about the Kira case, and Matsuda's being his usual jackass self." He took a step away from the chair and picked up the white box.

"Ryuuzaki," Light said slowly. Now, it was his turn to call out Ryuuzaki's name, "I'm sorry about what I did. There are reasons as to why I do things, but I guess my reasons are hard to understand." He placed his feet on the floor and stood slowly, "But that doesn't mean you have to ignore me. Do we have to be enemies from now on just because of that one thing? Does it have to be L versus the Kira suspect again?"

Ryuuzaki didn't respond; he took another step closer to the door and glanced over his shoulder at Light, "You're not a Kira suspect, Light-kun," he said slowly turning away, "You are Kira." With that he walked to the door and opened it slowly.

Light was unable to move. _"You are Kira?" _he thought silently, _"Where did, 'the chances of you being Kira is 1 or less' go?" _He watched silently as Ryuuzaki left the room closing the door behind him, "Ryuuzaki," he said aloud standing from the sofa, "did I hurt you that badly?"

He turned slowly to the chair in which Ryuuzaki had sat and let his mouth open slightly. One of the capsules of butter from the restaurant sat in the center of the cushion. Light took a step toward it and picked up the small object placing it in the palm of his hand, "You can't stay angry forever, Ryuuzaki; I won't let you." He said taking slow steps to the door.

Now, he knew how much harder it was to make a dream a reality. It had been so much easier to remember and dream about Ryuuzaki; not having to deal with the obstacles in the way. Now that he was trying to live out the dream the obstacles were growing larger and harder to defeat.

Light took a breath and stepped through the door he had opened, "Father found something new about the Kira case," he said softly, "I wonder what he could have found." Taking quick steps down the hallway Light thought to himself about what he could possibly do now. Most people believed that Kira had been caught. Rem had still been told that to Kill Ryuuzaki was the only way to save Misa. There was no undoing what he had done. There was not way of erasing the past.

Taking a breath as he entered the large main room he gave his father a smile as he turned away from the large computer screen. "Light," his father said pointing to the empty chair by Ryuuzaki's, "I was just about to show Ryuuzaki what Aizawa and I found."

"That's alright, father," he said letting out a slight laugh, "It's getting late; it's going to be dark in around two hours. So, I'll just let you tell me about it tomorrow." He smiled and took a step backwards.

Aizawa raised a hand towards Light and frowned, "Light-kun," he said stepping forward, "this is far too much work to show twice. Please, come so we can show it to both you and Ryuuzaki at once."

Light let out a sigh of reluctance and walked to the empty chair next to the one Ryuuzaki sat in. Sitting slowly he turned to the side and nodded unnoticeably seeing Rem standing in the corner of the room. Slowly he turned back to the large computer screen and shifted as the bright lights dimmed.

"Now," his father began as the computer screen showed a large map of the region around the headquarters. "As you know, the moment we caught Higuchi he died of a cardiac arrest, and after looking through the apprehended notebook we did not find his name. So, this means that Ryuuzaki's theory of two notebooks is the only logical conclusion. This being said Aizawa and I went out in search for the second notebook. We found something very suspicious.

"It seems that earlier today a child got away from his parents and while digging in the dirt he found a black notebook. His mother found him there with the notebook, and seeing the names written in the note book she dropped it in terror. We were contemplating sending out a search team to find the notebook and bring it here to headquarters, but we couldn't do that without your permission, Ryuuzaki."

Light look up remembering what would have happened on this day. He would have sent Misa out to find the Death Note he had buried, but instead of Misa finding it that kid must have found it first.

Ryuuzaki nodded thoughtfully as he placed a finger on his bottom lip, "Yagami-san, take Aizawa and Mogi along with you to the place where the notebook was found. If, by any chance, the notebook is gone locate the boy who found it first and find out what he and his mother know."

Nodding Yagami and Aizawa took slow steps across the room.

Light stood suddenly, "I'll go too, Ryuuzaki," he said knocking the chair backwards, "I should go with my father to make sure things don't go wrong." He stepped sideways refusing to wait for a reply from Ryuuzaki.

"No, Light-kun, you should stay here. If you are Kira we can't have you getting near any notebooks. If this really is the second notebook I can't let you go," Ryuuzaki said still staring up at the computer screen, "I'm sorry, but these are the precautions we have to take."

Light gritted his teeth, "Ryuuzaki, I'm not Kira," screamed pulling Ryuuzaki from the chair knocking it backwards as well, "how many times do I have to tell you that? I'm not Kira; I proved that to you, didn't I? You locked me up for over a month, and the Kira killings continued even though you kept me under surveillance 24/7."

Ryuuzaki didn't respond, but looked down hearing a slight click beneath his feet. The butter capsule had fallen from Light's hand to the floor, "So," Ryuuzaki whispered turning back to Light, "Now you decide to throw me away." He shifted slightly and kicked against Light's chest forcing him to let go, "The reason why I say your Kira is," he began as Light lunged toward him, "because I have to convince myself that you're Kira because-."

Light tackled Ryuuzaki holding his shoulders to the cold floor ignoring his father's instructions. "Go on," Light said though gritted teeth, "Tell me why, Ryuuzaki. Why do you think I'm Kira? Why do I always have to be Kira to you?"

Ryuuzaki let out a sound of aggravation and pushed against Light forcing him away, "because if I don't convince myself that you're Kira I can't deny that-." He stopped as Light grabbed him once again and threw him to floor. "_**I love you."**_

Shock took over Light's body. He stood still in the same place while his father and Aizawa stepped away cautiously. "R- Ryuuzaki," Yagami gasped stepping backwards. He shook his head and motioned to Aizawa, "Let's go, Aizawa, we'll call Mogi along the way," he said walking out of the room slowly.

Aizawa nodded following Yagami through the room. He looked back over his shoulder and let out a laugh, "Homos," he laughed, "Who would have guessed Misa would be right (1)? We'll have to tell Matsuda (2)." After letting out another loud laugh he left the room quickly.

Light looked Ryuuzaki over from head to toe breathing deeply. He had known that already, but hearing it from Ryuuzaki was like a whole different thing. Ryuuzaki had barely ever conveyed his emotions in such a way. Light took another breath and sat on the floor next to Ryuuzaki.

They sat there in silence; Ryuuzaki pulled his knees in to his chest and stared down at the floor beneath him. Light looked him over once more; he seemed almost afraid to say a word, like his own words would be the difference between life and death.

"_I know, Ryuuzaki," _Light thought silently looking away from the boy beside him, _"I just can't say that aloud. If I did the world around us would fall apart. If we did something now; if I told you I loved you our lives would fall apart." _He glanced sideways at Ryuuzaki and frowned, _"And I can't let that happen to you. That's how much I really love you, Ryuuzaki. You just can't see it yet."_

* * *

**So! How about this one? How'd you like the little surprise I put in there for ya? You know…I didn't even plan that.. it just came:) **

**BTW: I'm still looking for a beta.. so if you're interested please let me know. :)**

_Footnotes:_

_ 1: If you don't remember when Light and Misa were released and Ryuuzaki chained himself to Light, Misa said something like, "Ryuuzaki, do you lean the other way?" Meaning, are you gay?_

_ 2: Matsuda's obviously pretty crazy about Misa.. (at least I think so..:) ) .. so he's saying that Light's off the market.. so Matsuda can go for Misa.. sorry.. it was in my head and it had to come out… :)_


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_A/N: Sorry for the wait. I finally got a beta, and I'm having a-little trouble getting a reply from them (sorry if you read this :) ).. (sweatdrops) sorry.. So, this is the un-betad (if that's even a word) chapter. I'll put up the betad version once I get a reply from my beta. So, sorry again._

_ A/N2: The beginning is kinda confusing..let's just say it's a bunch of dialogue that Light (and L) would have said (or did say) before this happened (or after -Light-)... only the first 3 things were said in the anime.. the others came from my head.. :)  
_

_It's almost time to say goodbye, It's my win, Now I can create my Utopia, I can't stop thinking about him, I can't live without him, I need him, give me a second chance, he's the only one who understands, he's the only one who really knows me, don't leave me now, can't you save me, I love you…_

_Darkness, nothingness surrounded him. He stood on thin air as if awaiting a reply from an invisible person. Slowly stepping forward he held his hands out in front of him, "Where am I?" he whispered taking another cautions step forward, "What is this place?"_

_He turned glancing in every direction; nothingness was all to be seen. "Why am I here?" he whispered taking steps forward, "I don't understand this." He reached forward again and pulled away feeling cold fingers lace around his, "Who's there?" he whispered stumbling backward._

_A warm laugh came from the darkness; he shifted to sit on his knees and scrambled to his feet, "Answer me," he said reaching forward once again. He gasped slightly feeling those cold fingers upon his._

"_Do you like playing with people, Light?" a voice came from the darkness shrouded in pain and loneliness, "You don't even acknowledge my existence or my love. What do I have to do?"_

_Light stepped back, "Ryuuzaki," he whispered, "you don't understand at all." Slowly he stepped forward reaching out for the person he believed was standing before him, "Please, let me explain. I don't want to hurt you, but if we're together now it'll never work. We'll only be hurt more."_

_He stepped forward and gasped, nothing. "Ryuuzaki," he whispered, stepping forward clumsily, "Don't leave me again. Not again. I love you, Ryuuzaki; I love you."_

Light sat up quickly raising his hands to his face. Looking around he groaned and placed his hands upon his head, "Now I'm dreaming about him too," he said leaning against the large wooden headboard behind him, "why do I think about you so much?" he whispered drawing his knees into his chest.

There was no escaping this nightmare. It hurt to be away from Ryuuzaki, but it hurt more to be close to him knowing that it was impossible to be with him. Light lifted his head slowly hearing a click from the door. He turned slowly watching as a dark figure stepped though the crack in the door.

With a gasp the figure stepped toward the bed, "I'm sorry, Light-kun, I didn't know you were awake." He held up a small silver key that shone in the silver moonlight and smiled, "With this I can open any door in this building." He took a step closer to the bed and frowned, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you today," he said stepping forward, "I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I just needed to say it aloud."

Light nodded, "It didn't embarrass me," he said shifting on the bed, "it just came as a surprise. I felt like I already knew that what you said was true, but it was different hearing it from you. Truthfully I was shocked that you said it aloud in front of my father and Aizawa."

Ryuuzaki smiled, "I didn't mean to say it in front of them," he said sitting at the end of the bed. He drew his legs in to his chest and frowned, "I suppose it just came out too soon. I'm sorry."

Light smiled slightly, "That's no reason to be sorry. It was sort-of strange hearing it from you, but I'm not angry with you, Ryuuzaki."

Ryuuzaki nodded, "But my love is one-sided, isn't it?" he asked shifting to look down to the floor, "I know that it probably would never work out between us. I mean, in all reality, I could be dealing with a mass murderer."

Light stared through the darkness at the boy sitting at the end of his bed, "But," he said leaning forward in Ryuuzaki's direction, "how do you know it wouldn't work?"

Giving a mischievous, almost prideful smile Ryuuzaki responded, "How did I know you were Kira?" he paused allowing Light a moment to respond but continued, "It's common sense. You of all people should know that. We should both know what's in our way." He glanced at Light and frowned, "And for us those things would be too hard to overcome."

"I know," Light said leaning against the headboard. Ryuuzaki had noticed his personality change. It was as if Kira had disappeared, but the consequences of Kira's actions could not easily be undone.

"Oh, Light-kun," Ryuuzaki said turning slowly in Light's direction, "Your father and Aizawa returned around an hour ago. The notebook was nowhere to be found, the child and his mother knew nothing of where it could be, and to make things worse criminals have begun to die once again. The cause of death for everyone so far has been cardiac arrest."

Light sighed, "Looks like we've got another Kira to deal with," he said. _"Damn it," _he thought silently, _"Kira's done so much that people are actually impersonating him. I'm beginning to think that Kira will never really die."_

Ryuuzaki nodded, "But we'll catch him," he said standing from the bed slowly, "we've caught every other Kira, and we'll catch this one." He took a step forward hesitantly, "maybe this will be the last one," he said continuing across the room. Slowly he opened the door and glanced over his shoulder at Light, "Then, we have no hard feelings over anything that's happened between us?"

"No hard feelings," Light whispered forcing a smile as Ryuuzaki left the room closing the door behind him. Once Ryuuzaki's footsteps faded Light gave a loud groan and took the white feathered pillow from behind him throwing it against the door. "Damn you, Kira," he said aloud not minding the fact that he had cursed himself, "This is all your fault."

Pushing his tongue into his cheek Light bit down slightly. Kira wasn't supposed to interfere; at this rate the ending would be the same as it had been. If the new Kira continued to kill Light would be under suspicion, and if Ryuuzaki's suspicion of Light increased in even the slightest way this second chance would mean nothing at all.

Slowly he rose from the bed and shivered as his bare feet touched the cold floor. Reluctantly he walked across the room and took the pillow from the floor and held it in his arms against his chest. He frowned; if only the pillow was Ryuuzaki.

With a sigh he turned and took slow steps back to the bed. Falling back onto the warm blankets Light let out a breath. Maybe Ryuuzaki was right; could it be possible that all Light would ever be to him was Kira? Light closed his eyes tightly; if that was true there was nothing Light could do to get though to Ryuuzaki no matter how much they loved one another.

Hours passed as Light lay there awake in silence running over everything he had done. As the sunlight peeked through the window lacing through the half-open blinds Light rolled onto his stomach holding the pillow close to his chest. Keeping his eyes closed he let go of the pillow and stood from the bed. Taking slow hesitant steps across the room he opened his weary eyes and rubbed them lightly as he placed a hand upon the cold metal door-knob.

Light took a breath and twisted the doorknob pushing the door open just enough for him so slip through into the wide hallway. The roar of the metal vents above his head drowned out the sound of his footsteps. The cold floor pressed against his feet like a sheet of ice.

Windows lined the walls allowing white morning light to illuminate the hallways splaying Light's shadow over the wall. He gave a sigh as he continued through the hallway towards the small elevator door. The elevator was the only room in the building that was small enough for only two or three people depending on their size.

Pressing the button marked with a black down arrow Light crossed his arms and watched the small numbers above the door as they lit one after another until it reached the number five. Light smiled slightly the fifth floor belonged to him and sometimes Ryuuzaki or Misa. Although Misa had been given a floor of her own she came down to his every so often; as for Ryuuzaki it was seldom that he left his usual seat on the first floor. Barely anyone had seen Ryuuzaki sleep more than once.

Light stepped into the open elevator and pressed the button marked with a 1 and leaned against the wall. He shivered placing his hands on the cold railing. Ryuuzaki had something against being hot so he kept cold air flowing every minute of the day. None of the rooms in the building were ever warm, not even the bedrooms. On a few freezing nights Light had gone in search of some kind of thermostat or something to control the heat in the building. No matter how long or hard he searched he found nothing.

Giving another sigh as the numbers lit one after one Light looked around the elevator. His reflection stared back at him through the metal wall. He blinked staring into the eyes of the boy in the reflection, was it Kira or Light?

The elevator stopped suddenly pulling up slightly before coming to a halt. Light stepped forward ignoring his reflection and walked through the doors that opened before him. This room, being the only room without windows, was darker than the rest. The computer had been shut down and two chairs, Light's and Ryuuzaki's, sat before it.

Light bit his lip stepping cautiously across the floor. He stepped forward once more groping in the darkness for a light switch of some kind. Placing his hands on the wall he leaned on it and sighed; he was exhausted and hungry, and to top it all off, all he could think about was Ryuuzaki.

He pressed against the wall and stared down into the darkness shading the floor, "I wonder when someone will wake up," he said looking around slowly, "I wonder when the lights will come on."

Light took a breath and slid down the wall to the floor. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop thinking about Ryuuzaki, or what he had said. He let his head fall back against the hard wall and gazed up into the darkness of the ceiling, "Why does it always have to turn out like this?" he whispered pulling his legs close to him, "Why does it never work out between us?"

Taking slow breaths Light waited in silence to hear the footsteps of another, but after sitting in that spot for nearly an hour he sat up straight wiping sleep away from his eyes. Either everyone had decided to sleep late on the same day or they had decided to meet in a different room.

Letting out a sigh Light stood from the floor and took slow steps toward the long winding staircase. His eyes had adjusted well to the darkness; now the entire room was visible. As he began up the staircase he placed a hand upon the cold metal rail by his side. There were too many rooms in this building to check every one of them; he had to narrow it down to the rooms they would use.

Light stepped up the stairs remembering how protective his father could be. After hearing what Ryuuzaki had said there was a good chance that his father could even be scolding Ryuuzaki right now. Letting out a quiet laugh Light continued. He could only imagine his father scolding someone like Ryuuzaki; that was something he had never dared to do.

Stepping up onto the final step Light walked down the dark hallway toward the slightly open door illuminating that section of the hallway. Taking slow cautious steps Light drew neared to the open door; with each step he pushed himself closer to the wall. Voices echoed from the room through the hallway becoming clearer with very step Light took toward the room.

"_It's alright; Light-kun knows better," _Light could recognize this voice; it was Aizawa's, _"he has a better sense of justice than most. I don't think he'd do anything like that."_

A sigh came from the other person in the room followed by a gruff voice, _"It's not that I think he would do that, but after what happened last night I'm not sure what to believe anymore. I mean, Ryuuzaki announcing his love for my son even in our presence."_

"_But, Ryuuzaki is alone most of the time; it's understandable for him to have these kinds of feelings. Light-kun, on the other hand, has a girlfriend, many friends, and maybe even hundreds of other girls fighting for his attention. You have to think about these circumstances. Light-kun may not return those feelings because he has a girlfriend and everything else, but Ryuuzaki practically has no other choice but to feel that way about Light-kun. Light-kun is probably the only person he knows well enough."_

Light shook his head slightly and stepped closer to the door. So, it was true that his father was concerned, but why would he confide in Aizawa about this? Why hadn't his father talked with him before Aizawa? He took a clumsy step forward and raised a hand to cover his mouth as he heard his footstep echo through the hallway.

"_Did you hear that?" _Aizawa's voice came from the room as Light stepped away from the door slowly.

"_I did, come on," _His father's voice followed as they rose from their seats taking quick steps toward the door.

Light took a breath and crossed the hallway pressing his back against the wall. If they found him this would never end. His father and Aizawa stepped through the door both glancing in either direction. "I don't see anything," one of them whispered as they exited the room slowly walking down the hallway.

Light let out a sigh of relief and frowned. Ryuuzaki had cameras installed in every room. The possibility of him knowing what they had said was high, and if Ryuuzaki had overheard there was only one person able to comfort him.

Taking another step forward Light placed a hand on the wall. Which room was Ryuuzaki's? He glanced around the hallway in search of another open door. Wandering around the building aimlessly was easy, but searching for one particular room was much harder. It wouldn't surprise anyone if even Ryuuzaki had trouble finding a specific room.

Light turned to his right as he passed the second elevator. Ryuuzaki had building four elevators that could take anyone to any floor. He had also installed an elevator he kept of himself and only himself; even Watari had not used it. The elevator was only another mystery surrounding Ryuuzaki that no one had taken the time to unravel.

Turning to the elevator Light reached out to touch the button in the wall beside it. This door had been painted black with a white "L" painted in contrast near the center of the door. Light frowned; it was as if Ryuuzaki anted people to wonder about it.

Without a second thought Light pressed the button marked with an arrow pointing upward and leaned against the doors. There were no numbers above the door to show what floors the elevator had been to.

Light simply stared impatiently across the hallway while placing the palms of his hands against the closed doors. He let out a sigh ready to walk away and forget Ryuuzaki, his father and Aizawa for a while.

Just as he began to walk away the doors of the elevator opened causing him to fall backward onto the surprisingly comfortable floor. Pushing himself to his knees he crawled away from the door as it closed behind him. He let out a sigh and turned to look around the elevator but stopped stunned seeing Ryuuzaki lying against the wall.

"R-Ryuuzaki?" Light whispered shifting closer to the wall as the elevator jerked upward, "um," he mumbled looking Ryuuzaki over. He lay there asleep against the wall. "Ryuuzaki," Light whispered again crawling closer to the boy on the floor, "isn't it sort-of uncomfortable to sleep in here?"

The boy's eyes opened slowly as he lifted himself from the floor wrapping a hand around the metal rail that had been attached to every wall. "Hmm?" he groaned turning in Light's direction, "Light-kun? What are you doing in here? No one else is supposed to use-," he stopped forcing out a loud yawn, "this."

"I- I know, Ryuuzaki. I couldn't fall asleep so I decided to go down to the main room. I waited there for an hour, and no one came. So, I came upstairs and overheard my father and Aizawa talking. That's how I ended up in here. I stumbled upon the elevator and-," Light took a deep breath glancing around the elevator. The walls were metal, and the floor had somehow been carpeted. "However I ended up here I'm still here. So, why were you sleeping here? Do you always sleep here?"

Ryuuzaki nodded wiping his eyes sleepily, "I like the closed space," he said leaning against the wall, "it's better then being in a large room." Ryuuzaki opened his eyes wider and stared in Light's direction, "What were your father and Aizawa talking about?" he asked.

Light's heart beat increased hearing those words from Ryuuzaki. Would it be smarter to lie than tell him the truth? Light shook his head. No, lying was what starting this, and he couldn't afford anther mistake. "They were talking about you," he began slowly turning away from Ryuuzaki as he spoke, "and me. Father was surprised at what you said, and he's afraid that I'll do something, I guess. Aizawa tried to explain to Father why you might feel the way you said you do, and the conversation went on from there."

"Oh," Ryuuzaki whispered drawing his legs in to his chest, "then maybe I should leave you and your father alone for a while. Would that clear this up?"

"No, nothing will _'clear it up'_," Light said moving closer to Ryuuzaki, "there's no reason to _'clear it up'_." He placed his hands on Ryuuzaki's shoulders and frowned, "It's not me who hates what you said; it's my father." He stopped suddenly leaning closer to him, "I know you're not just L. I know there's another person inside who's looking for more than just cases to solve and puzzles to piece together." He leaned closer and smiled slightly, "I know you," he whispered pressing his lips against Ryuuzaki's.

Silently Light discarded every thought cycling through his mind; every voice screaming for him to pull away was silenced. _"I want to believe in you," _he thought silently drawing closer to Ryuuzaki, _"and I guess to believe in you I have to be close to you."_


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_A/N: So, my beta gave me the idea that it would help the story if I had more in L's POV.. so, you can call this an experiment if you want. Let me know If the sudden switch confuses you at all. As I said, it's only an experiment to see how something like this would come out. _

_A/N: I'm soooo sorry for the wait.. I had the idea in my head for a while, but I just couldn't get it out on paper…_

Letting out another sigh Light kicked a pebble from beneath his feet. The scorching sun blazed down on him. He shifted his feet slightly and turned back to the tall building standing far above all the rest. Staring with blurring eyes at the top of that building Light let out a breath and turned away.

His father had found him with Ryuuzaki and had forced him to leave immediately, commanding him harshly to never see the boy again. Light took another step; his father had never been so violent with him. There had rarely been a time when violence or harsh words were needed between them, but this was different. They were fighting over which belief was right and which was wrong. His father detested the very idea of his son being with someone of the same sex, whereas Light felt hopeless and desolate without the very person his father didn't want him around.

Lifting his hand to touch the scrape on his cheek Light winced and stepped forward. When his face hit the concrete he could have sworn he heard something snap, but there was no time to worry about it. The Death Note was still out there and with his father watching his every move there would be little time or effort to spare for the Kira Case. Ryuuzaki might also be distracted.

Light lowered his hand to his side and whispered, "I'm sorry." Ryuuzaki had already implied that he felt he had caused a problem between Light and his father. Dragging him farther into this had not been part of the plan at all. Light let out a sigh; none of this had been part of his plan. This was supposed to work out without any problems or distractions, but it wasn't working out that way in the least.

"_I knew it," _Light thought silently as he came nearer to the house he knew well, _"I knew that if Ryuuzaki and I got close this would happen. I should have paid more attention to my own actions. I shouldn't have snapped like that." _Light crossed the street slowly avoiding the few cars that passed by. _"I made another mistake, but I won't make another one."_

He took slow steps up the walkway and wrapped his fingers around the stiff door handle. With a sigh he reached into his pocket and took the silver key into his hand. The door was locked; no one was home yet. He let out a sigh of relief as he shoved the key into the slot beneath the doorknob. This meant he had a little time before explaining this to his mother and sister. "Good," he whispered pushing the door open, "at least now I can be alone for a while."

Taking the key from the door he closed it tightly and began up the stairs._"I didn't even have time to hear anything about the new Kira," _he thought silently as he opened the door to his room and stepped inside. This room held so many memories, memories of Kira, the Death Note, Ryuk, and Misa, memories that he longed to forget.

He closed the door behind him and turned the lock tightly as he stepped further into the room. He turned to the computer and tilted his head to the side. Kira's popularity should have decreased after he stopped the killings. Light walked toward the chair he had left near the computer and sat down slowly; maybe everyone was finally against Kira. "I wonder," he whispered pressing a key on the keyboard causing the screen to blaze white light before dimming to the gray background.

Light nodded; he had checked one of the many websites about Kira the last time he was home. Back then it seemed like the number of people deciding to follow Kira was rising every second. "Now, who knows what'll happen," Light whispered to himself clicking the link that read _"message board"._

As that page covered the screen Light scrolled through the meaningless threads in search of something worth reading. He stopped seeing one that read, _"I'm Kira (I'll prove it)"._ Light clicked the link and looked over it; many people had claimed to be Kira on countless message boards, but very few had actually shown any reasonable proof.

Light let out a breath and picked up the remote beside him after reading the final line,_ "Watch Sakura TV today, November 6, 2004, at 16:24. The announcer will die of a heart attack at exactly that time. I'll be waiting for responses."_

Holding his breath Light turned to the television by the desk. It would be three hours until that time. He let out a breath and placed the remote on the desk. What if this person only posted this on a live message board in hopes that the real Kira would find it and do the work for him? "But," Light said seating himself in front of the computer, "there's always a chance that this is real. There's always a chance that this person found the Death Note."

Raising his hands to his head Light leaned forward; maybe it would be smart to keep an eye on this person from now on. He took the mouse into his hand again and clicked the link beside the user's name reading,_"Add to watch list"_. Seeing the screen flash _"User Added" _Light sat back in the seat placing his hands in his lap. There was a good chance that Kira would be around for a long time no matter how many of them the police or L caught.

Light stood from the chair slowly and fell back onto the stiff mattress. He let out a breath and stared up into the blank dark yellow ceiling, "What's going to happen when Ryuuzaki finds the new Kira? Will everything end once this Kira is caught?" he whispered locking his hands behind his head. "No," he gasped sitting up quickly, "Rem," he whispered rising from the bed. He slowly made his way to the balcony and stepped through the open glass doors, "There's no telling what Rem will do," he said resting his elbow on the wooden railing, "I never did have a chance to talk to her. I never told her that what I said about saving Misa was wrong."

With a loud groan Light kicked the railing and brought his head down into his hands, "What am I going to do?" he groaned hearing the roar of a car as it rushed by. "What the hell am I supposed to do?" he said stepping backward into the dark room once again, "I've never been so confused," he said sitting down on the bed, "If only I knew more about my situation now; then I could make a more intelligent decision. If I knew more I could make a decision based upon what I know and what would be better for me."

Light let out a breath, "I'm so selfish," he whispered, inwardly scolding himself for his own foolishness. He had been selfish this entire time. It wasn't the Death Note, Ryuk, Rem, or Misa that made this happen; it was his own selfishness. He knew that now, but after over seventeen years of living with that lifestyle it would be nearly impossible to change into someone else.

Closing his eyes slowly Light let himself fall back onto the bed once again. He winced feeling his back hit the hard mattress and rested his arms by his sides. He had spent so long in that building, in that bed that he would have to become used to his bed, his family, and being hopelessly alone again. _"There are so many things I have to do; so many things I'll have to make right…"_

* * *

"He hurt me; I know he did," Ryuuzaki whispered as he wandered through the dark, desolate hallways, "I just didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to be like Misa-san; I didn't want him to only think of me as someone he used as a puppet. I wanted to be the one he truly loved." He let out a breath and bit his lip slightly, "That was pretty much impossible anyway, wasn't it."

He stared down at his feet as he continued through the hallway. "This is my fault," he whispered, "I never should have gotten so close to him. I came between him and his father, and now I'm only hurting my chances more." He took a breath and continued, "I have to be inconspicuous now. Maybe if I can keep myself in check, maybe if I never say another word or express another emotion this will go away."

Ryuuzaki shaded his eyes as he passed one of the windows flooding bright light into the hallway. "But," he whispered feeling his stomach churn and rumble with hunger. Letting out a groan he placed his hand upon the cold wall. This confusion was new to him; it was an emotion he was not at all familiar with.

"I know I'll only be hurting him if I don't let these emotions go, but if I let them go I'll be hurting myself." Ryuuzaki shook his head hearing his stomach rumble once again. "No," he whispered, "it's worth getting hurt. If I can save Light from a world of hurt; I guess I'll just have to take it."

Shoving his hands into his pockets carelessly Ryuuzaki took a breath. He was not, and had never been one to shrug off a situation nonchalantly, nor had he ever left a game unfinished or a puzzle unsolved. Every problem had a solution; every game could be won. He knew that, and knowing this, he could never bring himself to stop something midway.

Ryuuzaki took a step; he knew full and well what he had to do and the choices he would have to make. He knew exactly what choices he would make. The only uncertainty was how this would end. Would Light end up hating Ryuuzaki? Would they both ultimately die unhappy? Would Kira/Yagami Light be arrested? Would Ryuuzaki end up alone again? Would there really be a chance or a happy ending?

Letting out another breath Ryuuzaki stared through the closed window into the bright yellow light of the sun. "I know what I have to do," he said taking a hand from his pocket and placing it upon the cold glass of the window, "but how am I supposed to do what I need to and what I want to?" He moved closer to the window squinting as his eyes met the bright light, "or do I have to choose between them?"

Ryuuzaki groaned stepping away from the window as he started further down the hallway. "Why does all of the evidence point to him? Why did _he_ have to be Kira? Why couldn't it have been someone else?" Remembering what he had said only moments before Ryuuzaki raised his chin and stepped forward, "I can't show emotion; I'll be L again, not Ryuuzaki. If I never come close to Light I'll be ok; if I can stay away then I can become like a shadow again."

Letting a slight smile crack the invisible mask hiding his face Ryuuzaki nodded, "Yeah," he whispered stepping forward, "for Light, I can do this." He lifted his chin and stared down the lit hallway stretching far beyond him. Letting his legs carry him down the long hallway Ryuuzaki jumped hearing the cell phone in his pocket ring quietly, "Oh," he gasped taking the small silver phone and flipping it open before pressing it against his ear, "Hello?"

"_Ryuuzaki,"_ It was Watari's voice, _"are you alright? Everyone's busy trying to comfort Yagami-san, but soon I believe we should go over the latest information on the Kira Case."_

Ryuuzaki shook his head slowly and spoke into the speaker, "No, Watari," he said staring down at his feet, "I've had enough for one day. If anyone does decide to go over the latest information, please, send them up to my room."

"_Understood."_

"Oh, and Watari," Ryuuzaki gasped stepping forward slightly.

"_What is it Ryuuzaki?"_

Ryuuzaki took a deep breath and responded, "Tell Yagami-san that I'd like to speak with him in my room when it is convenient for him."

"_Yes. Please, relax a-little Ryuuzaki."_

As his eyes grew wide Ryuuzaki released the phone letting it fall to the floor, '_relax a-little.' _Not even an hour ago Light had whispered those words to him as well. "Relax?" Ryuuzaki whispered letting a blank expression fall over his face, "How does anyone expect me to relax?"

Taking slow steps away from the phone he had left lying broken behind him Ryuuzaki shoved his hands into his pockets. From now on, he was L and only L, no one else. Light couldn't be part of this either. L would once again work alone like he always had. Now, L would be nothing more than a shadow.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_A/N: I'm sorry about how depressing the last chapter was. It just kind of happened. Oh, and I realize that I only mentioned Light being lovesick, but it seems as if I've made L that way as well. I hope that doesn't disturb you. :) Oh, and I, personally, have never even considered Soichiro's (Lights father's) feelings on Light being with L. I just thought it would make a good conflict._

_Thanks for the reviews so far!!!_

"Yagami-san," Ryuuzaki said dropping another three pure white sugar cubes into the cup filled to the top with black hot liquid causing it to spill slightly over the sides staining the pure white plate below. "I apologize in the most sincere way possible for what I've caused between you and your son, but I would like to inform you that I plan on staying away from him for a while in hopes that this will die down." He lifted his chin and blinked staring into the eyes of the man sitting before him.

Soichiro took a sip from the large round cup held tightly within his hands. "Ryuuzaki," he said lowering the cup to the table, "I meant nothing against you; I only questioned my son's judgment. I do, however, approve of your decision to stay away from him. Although, I know this may seem harsh, I think a-little time away will do you both some good."

Ryuuzaki nodded, "I agree," he whispered knowing that every word he would say from here on out would be a lie. "Again, I apologize for getting between you and your son. It wasn't my place." He laced two fingers around the small handle of the cup and lifted it to his lips. Taking a sip of the strong, hot liquid he placed his remaining hand on his knees as he drew his legs in to his chest.

"No need," Soichiro coughed placing his hands flat upon his knees. "And, another thing, the Kira Case has taken a seemingly dangerous turn. It was reported that yesterday at exactly nine a.m. a message was posted on one of the message boards dedicated to Kira. The message claimed that the user who had written the message was Kira; it also offered proof. That proof was that an announcer on a specified television channel would die of a heart attack at an exact time. It happened just the way the user had stated. Unfortunately, we were not aware of the situation until late this morning."

Ryuuzaki nodded taking another sip from the cup; "Would it be possible to track down the user who posted the message through his IP address?" he asked calmly glancing around at the homely yellow walls.

"That was Aizawa's suggestion as well, but though we should be able to track him down we were unable to do it. It's almost as if that user has disappeared. There is no way we know of that would help us find him." Soichiro answered solemnly.

With another nod Ryuuzaki lowered the empty cup the table, "The only possible explanation for us not being able to track him down would be that this person may be either a high ranking official or perhaps even a hacker."

Soichiro nodded; he opened his mouth to respond but paused hearing a loud "ding" echo through the room. Slowly he turned to find the source of the sound but turned back and watched as Ryuuzaki stood and made his way across the room in the direction of the computer monitor seated on the white carpeted floor.

With a sigh Ryuuzaki pressed a key on the keyboard and took the mouse into his hand. The screen showed his e- mail by default. The newest message had been sent a few seconds before by Watari.

Ryuuzaki bit his lip as he crouched down to the floor in front of the monitor and opened the e-mail hesitantly. It read: 'Ryuuzaki, someone is waiting on line one to speak with you. You may want to get away from Yagami-san before answering. He says he will wait. _Watari_. PS. What happened to your cell phone?

With a nod Ryuuzaki pressed the red button on the monitor causing the screen to blacken, "Yagami-san," he began slowly as he stood from the floor, "thank you for your understanding attitude toward these past events. I appreciate it very much. Now, please go back to the others and try your best to find more information on this new Kira."

Soichiro nodded slowly as he rose from the sofa, "Alright, Ryuuzaki, We'll let you know if any new information comes up." He took slow steps toward the door and placed a hand on the doorknob, "Ryuuzaki, I'm sorry I had to separate you and my son. I know it may seem unfair, but I truly believe that this is the best decision we can make." With that said he opened the door and exited the room, pulling the door closed behind him.

Ryuuzaki let out a breath and stepped up to the small wooden table upon which the white telephone sat. He placed a hand on the receiver and breathed quietly as he raised it to his ear and pressed the button marked with _"Line 1". _"Hello?"

"Ryuuzaki," Light screamed into the receiver, "I have something to tell you, something about the Kira Case." He shifted on the bed and glanced sideways at the blackened television screen.

That announcer had really died. Light had watched everything happen just as it was explained. The last time he had checked that post had also received over a million responses.

"_I'm sorry, Light, but I can't talk to-."_

Light leaned forward pressing the phone closer to his ear, "Ryuuzaki, stop being so unreasonable. I can help you. We don't even have to be friends, just let me help you with the Kira Case; I have some information that could help you."

"_Light-."_

"Ryuuzaki," Light whispered loosening his grip on the phone, "please don't be this way. If you don't want to see me I can tell you everything you need to know over a phone or by e-mail; it doesn't matter. I'm not trying to hurt you or even get close to you. I- I want to help you."

"_I don't know- if your father-."_

Light let out a breath and stood suddenly knocking the desk by his bed to the floor, "My father has no control over you. He may have some control over me, but I'm his son. Why are you living in fear of my father? He can't do anything to you, Ryuuzaki. The worst he could do would be leaving the Task Force, but you don't need him, you have me. I'm just as good as my father is, if not better." Light took a slow breath and frowned, "You're not content with having me?"

Hearing a loud sigh come from the other side of the phone Light bit his lip and awaited a response, _"I- I'm sorry, Light, but I can't." _

Just as Light opened his mouth to respond he heard Ryuuzaki whisper something inaudible before being cut off by the loud dial tone. "Ryuuzaki," he whispered into the receiver before throwing it backward onto the bed. He blinked slowly hearing a sound come from the computer beside him; it was a sound he had never heard. Curiosity burning his stomach Light took cautious steps toward the computer. He walked as if the floor had been transformed into hot coals of fire. The computer screen brightened as he pressed a key on the keyboard, "New message?" he whispered seating himself in the chair behind him, "But no one should even know that I exist. I've never even posted."

Light grabbed the mouse and moved the cursor over the subject line, _'Our Little Secret,' _it read. Biting his lip impatiently Light glanced at the sender's name. With a gasp he fell backwards bringing the heavy chair along with him. The person who had posted claiming to be Kira was the one who had sent the message. Light scowled, if this guy knew about him it would ruin everything. Shaking his head angrily Light whispered, "I swear, every other Kira is a complete idiot." He placed a hand on the chair and pushed himself to his knees, "If it keeps going this way Kira's screwed."

As he stood slowly Light grabbed the mouse once again and opened the message, "I know you're the real Kira," it read, "and you know that I'm not. You're the only person I've sent this to, Yagami Light. Yes, I know who you are. Anyway, Kira, I've recovered your notebook for you. Don't you want it back? If you don't I'd be happy to take over for you, but if you do want it meet me under the bridge at midnight tonight. I'll be waiting."

Light let out a breath. Who was this? How come this person, whoever they were, knew his name? Did they know everything else? If he didn't meet them would this person track him down? Lifting the chair slowly Light blinked awkwardly; the way things looked now this person would go to every extreme to get him. Who was it, an enemy, or an old friend?

As Light sat slowly in the chair he let out a breath. There was no way to be certain; there was no way to know for sure what this person was after, or what they would do. Regardless, he knew who Light was, which meant that Light must have been around this person at one time or another. Staring blankly at the computer screen Light thought back as far as possible. Could it have been one of those friends he had abandoned when he became Kira? Could it have been an old enemy trying to get back at him? There was a chance that this person could be anyone.

"I wonder," he whispered leaning back in the chair. "Under the bridge, huh," he said taking one of the cold metal pens from the cup at the corner of the desk, "I wonder what he's planning." As light twirled the pen in his hand he said, "If this guy took the deal, if he has the Shinigami eyes, he could be planning on using that as an advantage to get a hold over me, or he could be trying to kill me."

Taking a slow breath Light raised the pen and placed it slowly behind his ear. "The Death Note's proving to be quite troublesome," he said turning the chair in the direction of the window. "If only I could get back into the Task Force office for long enough to see Rem. If I don't do something about her soon she'll kill Ryuuzaki because of what I told her." Light let out a breath and sat up quickly, "Father," he gasped, "Father separated me from Ryuuzaki, and Misa will probably have to stay at the Task Force office because she'll be under suspicion again. If Misa can't see me she'll be miserable, and if Misa isn't happy Rem will kill the person who caused it –My father."

Light took the pen from behind his ear and sighed loudly, "I have no choice," he said dropping the pen to the carpeted floor, "I have to get my Death Note back."


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

_A/N: So….this is kind of strange, I guess, I had a-little trouble figuring out who I could make the next Kira. This came out of nowhere. It was just the best idea I had._

The musty smell of the wet night air closed in around him, stealing his breath. His footsteps made a squishing sound as he took slow steps through the wet mud beneath his feet. Deep footprints led from where he had started to where he stood. Darkness surrounded him; no stars shone to brighten the night sky. The moon had been hidden by the dismal storm clouds hanging above.

Light took another slow step forward glaring through the darkness in search of the one he had come here to meet. _"No wonder he chose to meet me here,"_ he thought silently placing a hand on one of the many metal pillars holding up the large busy bridge. _"This would without a doubt be the best place to kill someone. The body probably wouldn't turn up for months, if ever." _

A soft chuckled came from the darkness surrounding him; Light turned suddenly hearing slow footsteps moving in his direction. "So you came," a slightly feminine voice came from a dark figure as it stepped closer to him, "I knew you would."

"If you don't tell me who you are I'm leaving," Light said taking a step backward. "Do I know you or not?"

That soft chuckle came again but louder, "Light." A bright light suddenly shone out from an object in the figure's hand. The light was moved and directed upward showing the figure's face, "Do you recognize me yet?"

Chewing nervously on his tongue Light stared into the person's eyes. Who was she? Light tilted his head slightly; no matter how hard he tried he couldn't remember this face. "I- no, I don't. How exactly do you know me?" Taking a slow step backward Light placed a hand on the next metal pillar. If this was a trap he had stepped right into it.

This time the person gave a loud laugh leaning forward slightly, "Oh, that's right, you wouldn't remember me. I've never actually met you," stepping forward slightly and directing the bright light so that it showed the person's entire upper body the voice came again, "but Misa's told me _all_ about you, Mr. Perfect."

"Misa?" Light gasped stepping backward, "So, who are you, one of Misa's friends?"

"Oh, I'm much more than that," the girl said stepping forward, "I'm the one who made those fake Kira tapes. I was the one who helped Misa carry out all of those killings. I'm the only one who knows who you are and who L is."

Light's eyes widened as his mouth fell open, "What do you mean by that?" he raised his voice slightly keeping in mind that the bystanders on the bridge above would hear him if he raised his voice much higher. "What exactly do you know?"

The girl's lips curled into a smirk, "Just what I said," she laughed tauntingly, "I know your real name, and I know L's." She reached backward and took a black notebook from behind her back, "And with this I can dispose of you both; I can use this to make _my_dreams come true." She let out another loud laugh and stepped forward, "And to think Misa thinks you're a genius. You're a fool, Yagami Light; you came here knowing full and well that this was almost certainly a trap. Well, guess what," she said stepping forward again, "it is."

Light let out a breath. He was finally coming to realize what a stupid decision he had made in coming here._ "This girl,"_ he thought silently stepping away from her, _"she has to have the Shinigami eyes. If she didn't have them she wouldn't know Ryuuzaki's name."_ Light took a breath and bit his lip, _"I don't even know Ryuuzaki's name."_

"So," she said opening the book and taking a pen from behind her ear. "Are you afraid, Kira? Are you going to beg for mercy?" She let out a soft chuckle and brought the pen down to the open page of the notebook, "I suggest you do it now; if you don't I'll kill you and your precious Ryuuzaki."

"You wouldn't," Light said stepping slightly forward. This girl, she was actually frightening him.

The girl let out yet another laugh and opened her now blazing red eyes, "Just watch me, Yagami Light; watch the magnificent Tsukiko Ume do what you yourself could never do." Her lips curled into a malevolent smile as she stared in Light's direction, "So, you are afraid. I can see it; you're afraid of me." She let out a slight chuckle and smiled, "That's good; you should be afraid.

"I can take away everything and everyone you love. I can get rid of everyone, your family, your friends, your allies, and especially your precious lover you've been cheating on Misa with."

Light's breath caught in his throat. Was this girl serious? _"No,"_ he tired to convince himself, _"she wouldn't. If she's like Rem she only wants Misa's happiness; if she wanted Misa's happiness she wouldn't kill the one Misa loved." _

The girl scribbled on the paper, "You think I'm too afraid to kill you?" she whispered as she continued moving the pen over the paper, "I'll show you how 'afraid' I am I of using this amazing power I've received from Kira himself. I'll kill someone you know just to show you that I'm nowhere near afraid." She paused scribbling the final characters onto the paper, "Now, give it a few minutes, Yagami-kun." She raised her wrist so that the light shone onto it and began counting down the seconds.

"No," Light whispered attempting to step forward; his feet stuck to the muddy ground. He let out a breath, "No," he raised his voice slightly forcing his feet to move forward. "No," he nearly screamed through gritted teeth; he had to do something, anything. He would kill her if he had to.

Suddenly as the seconds ticked away Light's head snapped up, _"The other Death Note,"_ he thought staring as the girl's smile brightened. _"If I can get to the other Death Note I can kill her." _Light bit his lips holding in the laughter, _"On the contrary, Tsukiko, you're the fool."_

* * *

"He died yesterday of a heart-attack precisely fifteen minutes after midnight. We have gathered as much information as possible from his parents, but, as you had probably expected, they became very defensive. The only information we were able to gather was that the boy was around eighteen years old, he attended To-Oh University, and he was an ace student whose best friend happened to be Light Yagami."

Ryuuzaki took in a breath as he flipped to the next page of the report. With a nod he turned sideways to look back at Aizawa, "And what information did you get from the police squad covering the case?"

Aizawa turned to Soichiro and nodded, "Chief, you asked for information from the police squad, correct?"

With a nod Soichiro stood allowing Aizawa to sit on the sofa next to Matsuda. "Well," Soichiro sighed holding the stack of papers in his hands. He turned to face Ryuuzaki and continued, "The police squad wouldn't give out a lot of the information. I did, however, find out that he was found under the bridge. He was found with no external wounds, and they say that the only possible suspect is Kira."

"But, why would Kira kill a random person?" Ryuuzaki whispered shifting in the seat as he dropped the papers on the cushion beside him, _"Now, Light can't be Kira. He wouldn't take a risk like that. Are we looking at the work of the second Kira? No. Even the second Kira wasn't this stupid. Could it be a third Kira?"_ Ryuuzaki sat up slightly. Neither Kira nor the second Kira had done anything involving an innocent bystander; this was different. _"His best friend was Light?"_ Ryuuzaki thought reaching unconsciously to the nearly empty coffee cup, _"At the moment there's only one conclusion I can come to."_

"This person, or the _Third Kira,_ is someone who must have some kind of grudge involving Yagami Light," Ryuuzaki said absently touching the cold handle of the cup, "this is the only conclusion I have at the moment. There's nothing else that makes sense."

Matsuda nodded as he leaned forward, "That's a great find, Ryuuzaki, but since we don't have Light-kun here will this keep happening? If they keep targeting people who know Light wouldn't we be on that list?"

With a nod Soichiro took a step forward and brought the papers down to the coffee table. "I apologize," he whispered reluctantly, "I hope I didn't create any kind of danger for any of you by forcing my son to leave."

Aizawa shook his head slowly, "It wouldn't be your fault anyway, Chief, if this person had a grudge they'd probably do anything to get back at Light-kun whether he was here or not. I don't think that matters to whoever's doing this. They'll get back at the person they're angry with no matter where they are."

"He's right, Yagami-san," Ryuuzaki said taking the coffee cup into his hand, "that this happened right after your issue with your son is only a coincidence. I believe this would have inevitably happened whether that issue had come about or not." He lifted the cup to his knees and tightened his grip on it; it was empty.

"If you say so," Soichiro said as he moved to seat himself by Aizawa, "Then, what can we do to find this _third Kira_? Just from this one case there's nothing we can do. This Kira didn't send tapes to any TV stations like the second Kira."

"True," Ryuuzaki said holding the cup still in his hand, "but this Kira made an even graver mistake. This person is or was close to Yagami Light or someone close to Yagami Light. Misa-san and her friends, of course, are also suspects along with every friend or enemy Yagami Light has ever had." Taking a breath Ryuuzaki averted his gaze to the three men sitting on the sofa before him, "Yes, I realize that this leaves us still with many suspects, but this is the best way to narrow it down."

Matsuda nodded and stood quickly, "That's right!" he said loudly, "I believe in you, Ryuuzaki, we'll be able to find the next Kira if we try hard and keep going."

Aizawa raised a hand to his head and let out a sigh, "Matsuda, even in the most crucial moments you still find a way to make everything sound better."

With a nod Ryuuzaki stood from the chair slowly and placed the cup on the table, "Excuse me," he said slowly as he turned away and took slow steps away from the men on the sofa, "I think I'll go up to my room for a while, if you don't mind."

The three men exchanged concerned glances before turning to the boy, "Go ahead," Soichiro reassured him softly, "we'll continue searching for information, and let you know first thing. We know you didn't get any sleep last night."

"Thank you," Ryuuzaki said opening the door slowly and stepping into the hallway. He closed the door behind him and started toward the elevator, "Why, Light?" he whispered staring forward absently, "Why did you let this happen? No, why did _I_let this happen?"

With a sigh Ryuuzaki stepped closer to the elevator and place a hand on the cold metal door. He hadn't used his elevator since it happened. In fact, he had avoided even going down that hallway. "I don't think I can stand this for long," he said pushing against the door. "If it keeps happening like this I'll really be a shadow, and I won't be able to come back at all."

He let out a breath and pressed the button next to the doors marked with an arrow pointing upward. "And about this case, it all seems to lead back to you. It's like everything I've done these past few days has reminded me of you. I wish I could forget you; at least then I'd be able to save myself from this as well. But, in all reality I don't want to forget you; that would be bad enough in it-self. To forget you would really be a punishment."

As the door opened slowly he took a step inside the warm elevator and wrapped a hand around the metal railing as he fell forward. He would never have guessed that losing Light would cause so much pain. He had lost many people in the past, but for some reason none of them even measured up to Light. No one he knew now measured up to Light.

"Well," Ryuuzaki said pressing the button marked with the highest number, "I guess this is the way things were meant to happen. You'll end up ultimately being caught, and I'll end up alone again." Slowly the doors closed him into the elevator, _"No, I'm already alone."_


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_A/N: This chapter might be a-little confusing. In the last chapter I wanted to tell how the boy died, but I couldn't do that. So, the beginning of this is a flashback, well, not really. It's more like what happened half from the boy's POV. By the way, this actually made me pretty sad…_

"What do you think Light's been up to?"

Hiroshi gave a sigh and glanced up at the boy across the table. "I really can't say. Most people haven't seen him in ages." Letting out another sigh he shifted in the hard wooden chair, "I'm kind of getting worried, Akio."

With a nod Akio leaned forward, "I understand, but Light's a good guy, you know? He'd never do anything that would put him or any of us in danger, right? In fact, he's probably out trying to catch that Kira guy right now."

Letting out a slight laugh Hiroshi nodded, "That's our Light," he said placing his hands in his lap, "but I do wish he wasn't always busy." He glanced over at the cup filled with transparent liquid,_"Light, I haven't even seen you in classes lately. I wonder what's wrong. You've never been the type to skip classes. Then again, you've never really been the type to leave your friends hanging either."_

"Hiroshi," Akio said loudly leaning in the boy's direction, "do you know how long we have until midnight? My parents said midnight, and I don't have my watch with me."

"Oh," Hiroshi whispered glancing down at the silver watch on his wrist, "You've only got like five minutes; you'd better get going now." He stood from the table slowly and reached into his pocket, "I'll cover the drinks, okay; you can pay me back tomorrow."

Akio nodded and hurried to the door, "Oh, and Hiroshi, don't be so down on your self. It's not your fault Light hasn't been around. Lighten up; Light wouldn't want to see you frowning all the time."

"Thanks," Hiroshi said quietly as Akio stepped through the door and began a steady sprint down the street. With a sigh he took the money from his pocket and stepped up to the counter, "Here," he said holding the right amount out to the cashier.

The man behind the counter smiled taking the money from him and nodded as a reassurance, "Thank you," he said, "be careful on your way home."

Hiroshi smiled and stepped toward the door, "Thank you," he whispered pushing the door open slowly. With a sigh he stepped onto the wet pavement and began down the nearly deserted streets. Most people were afraid to come out at night; some of them used the excuse that they thought Kira came out at night, _"What a hoax."_

Hiroshi shook his head as he shoved his hands into the warmth of his pockets. Kira was just some kind of con-artist trying to trick people into thinking that they can't do anything wrong or else Kira will kill them. "Like anybody would take up almost a year of their life executing criminals. Sure, the world's come to be a pretty peaceful place, but what good is it if all Kira can do is kill? Soon enough he'll probably start killing off the normal people like us just because he's bored."

Letting out a breath Hiroshi glanced down at his watch once again, "Mom and Dad are probably in bed by now; they won't mind if I'm out for a-little while longer." He took slow steps forward staring down absently at the water puddles below his feet, _"Light's usually up at this time. Maybe if I go to his house he'll be there."_ He nodded slightly and turned around the next corner.

It would be midnight in only around two minutes. His parents had set his curfew at midnight, but seeing Light had to be at least a small bit more important. With a nod he continued down. His shadow splayed over the wet street as he passed under the bright streetlights. Letting out a breath as the minutes counted down to midnight Hiroshi rolled his hands into fists. Why was he missing Light so much now?

With a sigh he looked down at his watch and sighed, "Midnight," he whispered stopping under one of the streetlights, "If Light's not there I wonder what-." His head jerked and his eyes widened suddenly, "Light," he whispered turning back in the direction he had come.

Without even a second's delay he began a quick sprint down the wet sidewalks. After a-little more than ten minutes he reached the muddy ground under the bridge. This feeling, he had never felt it before. He took slow steps forward hearing voices in the distance.

As two dark shaded figures came into view his feet carried him closer to them, "Light," he said recognizing one of them.

The taller figure turned to him; his eyes widened and his mouth fell open, "Hiroshi, no," he whispered stepping forward, "why did it have to be you." Holding his breath Light glanced down at his watch, "Maybe I'll have a-little time before," he whispered taking quick steps toward the boy.

Hiroshi breathed deeply biting his lip slightly, "Light," he whispered.

Light let out a breath as he came within touching distance of the boy. As his eyes blurred he placed his hands on the boy's shoulders, "Fight it," he whispered stepping closer to him, "don't let her do this. If you die I don't know what I'll do, Hiroshi. You're my best friend, don't die on me."

"Light," Hiroshi said glancing up into his eyes, "I love you." Letting out another breath he lowered his gaze to the ground.

"No," Light whispered pulling the boy close to him, "you can't." He pushed him away slightly bit his lip, "I'm so sorry, Hiroshi," he said leaning forward and planting a kiss on the boy's forehead, "I'm sorry," he whispered.

The girl standing slightly away from them let out a loud breath and said, "You have three minutes, Yagami-kun."

Light threw a quick glance at her and without a second thought turned back to the boy standing close to him and leaned down placing a kiss on the boy's lips. This was all he could do.

Those three minutes flew by like seconds. As the final minute went by Light pulled away from the boy slowly and smiled sadly, "I'm sorry, I swear I won't let you die in vain," he whispered seeing the boy's eyes go wide.

Hiroshi grasped Light's shirt tightly and whispered, "I love you," before falling backward into the mud.

Light bit his lip as a tear fell down his cheek. He turned to the girl standing behind him giving her a piercing glare, "I won't let you do this to anyone else, I swear."

* * *

"Life is a special gift from God; after these past events my family and I have realized this. My son was everything a mother could wish for. He was trustworthy, loving, loyal, and always did what he knew was right. He had dreams of becoming a detective along with two of his friends. There was never a time when his talents and actions ceased to amaze us. He was always looking forward, and never wallowed in the self-pity of the past. Nevertheless, our memory of him will always be joyful." The woman standing behind the podium whipped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand and took a deep breath. With a nod she stepped away from the podium and pushed into the shelter of her husband's arms.

Light bit his lip. Hiroshi's mother had come to him not long before the funeral and asked if he wanted to give a speech as Hiroshi's best friend. Light had accepted immediately and had been rehearsing what he would say all day. Now, he had it down; all he had to do was keep from breaking down in front of everyone.

"Now," a man dressed in a black suit said as he stepped up to the podium, "Yagami Light, Hiroshi's best friend, will give a speech." As he motioned to Light he stepped away from the podium and placed an arm around the weeping woman beside him.

Holding his breath Light made his way through the crowd of people. As he turned and stood behind the podium he looked over the people standing before him. They blended together in a sea of black and white.

Letting out a deep breath Light cleared his throat and pulled a folded piece of paper from his pocket. Placing is slowly on the podium he smoothed it out and looked over the crowd once more, "Well, there's really too much for me to say about Hiroshi. From Kindergarten through High School we were the closest of friends. We had actually made plans of going into the NPA together, but Kira destroyed everything. Through my first three and half years of High School he actually meant everything to me." Light let out a breath as he stared down at the sloppy words he had scratched down onto the paper; he hadn't even read from the paper. Every word he had said was different from what he had written, "I just don't want to believe he's really gone."

Holding back the tears he stepped away and bowed his head before leaving the podium and starting toward the back of the crowed where his father stood. "Well," he said stepping forward, "I did it. How was I?"

Soichiro nodded and stepped forward, "I'm sure it was hard for you, and you did very well." He placed a hand on Light's shoulder and moved slightly, "I brought something that I thought might make you feel a-little better," he said stepping away slowly.

Light squinted and turned to where his father pointed him, "R- Ryuuzaki," he whispered. He could barely recognize him. Ryuuzaki was dressed in a real black suit and a red tie, and his shoes were black and polished. "I would have thought you'd be wearing the same thing you usually do."

"They made me," Ryuuzaki mumbled crossing his arms across his chest.

With a smile Light stepped forward, "Well, I'm still glad you're here," he said. It was almost hard to think about Hiroshi. This whole time he had almost been oblivious to the fact that he actually had friends, and now one of his best friends was gone forever. There was no way to apologize.

Feeling a hand on his shoulder Light turned slowly and fell back as the person standing there swung a hard punch in his direction. "Akio," Light gasped scrambling to his feet, "what was that about?"

"How dare you," Akio yelled rolling his hands into fists, "how dare you not be there for him! You have no idea how much he worried about you, Light." He bit his lip staring into the boy's eyes, "I can't believe you. The two of you had been friends from Kindergarten through High School, just like you said. So, why did it change? Why did you turn your back on him, Light? He didn't deserve that. If anything he at least deserved your gratitude. Most people have nearly forgotten about you by now, but he never did. Even when you turned your back on him and ignored him he never forgot you; he always worried about you. Do you even care?"

Light shook his head slightly and turned his head away from Akio, "I don't need this."

Akio grabbed Light's shoulders and shook him slightly, "That's what I mean, Light, you've changed. You never used to be that way. You never used to push your friends away like they mean nothing. I don't like you this way," he said shaking his head from side to side. "I want my friend back, Light. I want that guy back." With a sigh he turned slightly toward the open coffin now lying where the podium had been, "But I guess that wouldn't be fair to Hiroshi."

"I'm sorry," Light raised his voice pushing away from Akio, "but it's not my fault that he died."

"I'm not blaming you for his death," Akio yelled, "I'm blaming you for the sorrow he went through before that."

Matsuda bit his lip and stepped up behind Ryuuzaki, "Are you not going to say anything?"

"No," Ryuuzaki said simply, "this is a lesson Light needs to learn."

Akio stepped forward tears blurring his black eyes, "All I'm saying is, you'd better hope you make it to heaven, because I know that's where Hiroshi is. And if you don't make it you'll never have a chance to apologize for the pain you caused him." After finishing Akio took a deep breath and turned away from Light slowly. "Goodbye, Light," he whispered as he took slow steps toward the open coffin.

Light stood stunned by his friend's words. _"I guess it's true,"_ he thought silently staring as Akio knelt by the coffin of his departed friend, _"you never know what you have until it's gone. I guess I'll have to learn that the hard way."_


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

_Hey guys! Soooo sorry for the wait! I had a lot of things get in the way of posting this chapter.. oh well, here it is! I hope it's worth the wait:)_

Light's breath synced with the ticking of the clock mounted upon the wall. "Was it worth it?" he asked himself silently, "Was getting a second chance to save someone I love worth losing someone I've loved for even longer?" His eyes wandered to the open book in his lap. Closing it slowly he let out a breath and placed it next to him on the sofa. There was no way to concentrate on those words; every attempt he had made failed.

He turned his head slightly and stared into the picture he had placed on the coffee table beside him. It was a picture he had taken with his friends the day they traveled to Osaka. Light gave a sigh; at that time he and Hiroshi had been closer than ever. Now, this picture was the only memory he had left, and that picture in itself was nearly three years old.

Light looked over it slowly. He and Hiroshi stood dead center, and three other boys stood around them. Back then everything was different. Light let out a sigh and turned the picture frame so that he stared into the black backboard.

"I guess I can't take it back," he said taking the cell phone from his pocket, "but at least I can make it right." He flipped it open and dialed the number hesitantly. Holding his breath he raised it to his ear and sighed hearing the dial tone

Suddenly a high female voice cut through, "Hello?" the person on the other side of the phone seemed to sing in response.

"Tsukiko," Light said loudly as he stood quickly. "I want to know exactly why you did this," he raised his voice and glanced sideways at the front door; he was the only one home. "Tell me what you gained from that. What did killing Hiroshi accomplish for you? If you want me out of the way why not just kill me? You know my face and my name, so kill me, not innocent people who've done nothing to you or anyone else."

The girl let out a loud laugh and replied, "I may be a girl, but I'm not that stupid. I may not be attacking you physically, but I'm attacking your heart. I'm surprised that you don't understand, Light. I would have thought that you of all people would understand my motive."

Light bit his lip, she sounded so much more intelligent over the phone, "Why?" he said lowering his voice slightly, "What do you want? Do you want me to admit that you're Kira? Well, you're Kira, Tsukiko, so stop this now."

The girl let out another smaller laugh and said, "Oh, Light, I don't want anything from you. Well, I'd be content with you letting me take Misa, but we both know you need her to get your hands on the other Death Note. Oh, and by the way, I know where the police are conducting their investigation. It's amazing how much information you can get out of your best friend without them even knowing that they're telling you."

"You pried information out of Misa?" Light whispered slightly astonished, "But I was under the impression that you liked Misa more than I do."

Light blinked hearing the girl let out a sigh, "Oh, I do, I didn't pry either. I only talked to her; like I said, she didn't even know that she was telling me a secret. We've always been close, so she's used to telling me the secrets she could never tell anyone else."

Light nodded absently, "I understand that much, but how could you get Misa to reveal any information about the Death Note?"

Tsukiko giggled before replying softly, "How did you get my number?"

Opening his mouth to respond Light heard a sound like a crash on the other side of the phone, "I have to go," he heard her say before the loud dial tone came through once again.

"What was that?" Light asked himself sitting on the sofa carelessly. With a sigh he looked through the list of speed dial numbers. His mouth fell open as he read over the names; Hiroshi's number was still there. A flicker of a smile broke through as he read over the name again. They had made so many memories; there was no way he would ever forget, no matter how much he wanted to.

Closing the cell phone slowly he brought it down to his chest and stared up into the white ceiling. The memories he had of Hiroshi would be hard enough to forget, but if he lost someone else what was he supposed to do? Light shifted to lie over the couch cushions and closed his eyes, "I miss you," he whispered absently.

Light sat up hearing the door open and turned sideways to see his sister walk hesitantly into the room. "Sayu," he said tilting his head sideways, "you weren't supposed to get home until later tonight. Weren't you with mom?"

With a nod the girl walked to the sofa and sat down in the space left between Light's back and the armrest. "Mom was supposed to take me shopping all day, but she met up with a friend and told me to go home. She didn't think you'd be here, Light." She turned to him slowly and tilted her head, "Why _are_you here? You should be with dad like always. Did something happen?"

With a sigh Light turned and sat by his sister, "Well, I might as well tell you, Sayu. Have you ever felt like everything's just going wrong? Like the world's falling down around you and you can't do anything to stop it?" He bit his lip seeing his sister shake her head hesitantly. "Well," he continued, "I feel that way right now. See, that guy who died the other day was my best friend. Well, he was more than that, but in front of dad all I can say is that we were best friends."

Sayu nodded and leaned forward resting her elbows on her knees, "So, you loved him, is that it?"

"Well," Light whispered staring blankly into the unblemished white carpet, "that's half of it. You see, a few days ago dad caught me with this guy and I'm not allowed to see him anymore. Even if I try to talk to him now this guy won't even talk to me anymore. That was bad enough, but now I lost-."

"Hiroshi, right?" Sayu said slowly turning to look her brother in the eye, "That was his name, right? I remember him. He was the one who used to play with me. When I was little he used to pick me up and swing me around in circles. You have a lot of those videos in your room; I used to watch them all the time." She paused and turned away slowly, "Do you miss him?"

Light nodded hesitantly, "But the thing is, that's not all that's bothering me. Yeah, I miss him a lot, but there are a lot of other things on my mind. This is probably the first time in my life that I've been unable to unscramble my own thoughts."

Standing from the sofa Sayu placed a hand on her brother's head, "It'll be ok, Light, that guy has to be in Heaven. I've only heard good things about him. There's no way he's not there. Someday, you'll see him again too, because my big brother's a good person too, and I know he's going to Heaven."

"Yeah," Light mumbled and watched as his sister skipped away out of the room. "Thanks, Sayu, but you don't know your big brother. I'm glad you don't, because your big brother is going to be nothing when he dies. I'm sorry." Lowering his head into his hands Light bit his lip. _"Now, this is just a race between me and Tsukiko. Whoever gets the other Death Note first wins, and whoever loses dies."_

* * *

"So, we've confirmed at least this much, correct?" Ryuuzaki said turning away from the open window, "The third Kira, as we're referring to him now, has killed only one victim that indicates an obvious connection they must have with Yagami Light. Otherwise the killings have been carried out just as Kira would." 

The three men nodded. "Correct," Aizawa said leaning forward slightly, "There's not much more we can say about this. There aren't that many suspects that we have information on. We did interview three of his closer friends asking them the questions you specified, and none of their answers seemed to be suspicious. We also interviewed one of Misa-san's friends; she seemed more apt to take on the role of Kira than any of Light-kun's friends. In fact, most of his friends are _against_ Kira."

Ryuuzaki nodded, "Then with that information we can lower the suspicion on most of Light-kun's friends to around three percent; whereas, the suspicion on Misa-san's friends will rise to around thirty-five. Do you agree?" He said glancing up at the men sitting a few feet away.

Soichiro nodded, "But it will be hard to interview every one of my son's friends and enemies. He may not tell me much, but I do know that he is quite popular. What do you plan on doing, Ryuuzaki? You go to the same college as Light; will you interview them there?"

"No," Ryuuzaki said sitting slowly in the large chair, "to interview someone at a college campus about the death of their former classmate or friend would be extremely suspicious. I plan to keep going as we are. Every day one of you will interview as many of Light-kun and Misa-san's friends as possible. Hopefully we can come up with a solution this way.

"Also, the one girl you specified as more suspicious than the others, would you please question her once more? I would like to rule out as many suspects as possible in these next few weeks." Drawing his knees in to his chest he stared blankly across the room. "There isn't much more I can say. The only request I have is for you all to find as much information as possible on that girl. I need to know all there is to know about her. Her name; age; address; any information you can get."

With a nod Soichiro stood and led the others into the hallway.

"If Light's Kira he might have met up with the third Kira by now. I'm still not sure why the third Kira would waste their time killing one of Light's friends, but I assume that it must have been done in order to get under Light's skin. I've never seen Light actually care that much about anyone. It should be interesting to see how he reacts to this situation." Turning slightly to the open door his eyes widened, "If Light has met the third Kira his next move will be to get the Death Note away from us."

Standing quickly Ryuuzaki took the cell phone from his pocket and raised it to his ear. Pressing a button he spoke into the speaker, "Watari, I need you to do something for me."

"_Yes?"_

"Tell me where the Death Note is," Ryuuzaki said stepping toward the door.

"_It should be in the main room. I can have someone bring it up to you."_

Ryuuzaki shook his head, "No," he said lowering the phone slightly; "I'll get it myself." He closed the phone slowly and shoved it into his pocket, "I won't let Light get the Death Note. I won't let him go back to being Kira, not without a fight."


	11. Chapter 10

_Umm… I'm not sure what to say about this one. Yeah, it's short (again). I'll try to make the next one longer… I just ran out of ideas…Anyway, I think at the end I actually set up something that I can go by. Sorry, but I doubt this story will end soon. Hopefully I'll still have some readers out there when I do finish it. I promise not to move on until this one is completely finished. Besides, doing this is keeping me obsessed with Death Note, so I'm enjoying it quite a bit. _

_Correction: I've changed the last sentence, since it caused a lot of confusion, and I can see why. I'm sorry for any confusion it caused, and I hope this will clear it up! Let me know if you have questions:)_

Chapter 10

Light pressed his back against the cold metal wall and glanced around the corner into the darkness beyond it. There had to be a way to get in. "There is no key," Light whispered reaching up to touch the closed window slightly above his head. Attempting to pry it open he let out a sigh; it was closed tightly and was ultimately locked. "And I can't hack the security system from my computer."

Stepping cautiously around the corner Light sidled down the wall keeping both hands pressed against the wall behind him. "Ryuuzaki thought of everything," he whispered keeping his eyes locked on the closed window at the end of the wall. "Whether I get the Death Note or not," he thought silently as he drew nearer to the window, "I have to see you again, Ryuuzaki."

Light let out a breath and reached up to touch the window. In the cold glass he could see the reflection of the moon hanging like a Christmas ornament in the sky. Nodding as if to reassure himself Light pushed against the window and gasped feeling it open easily.

Pushing the window half-way up Light hesitated. He had walked into one trap, and that alone had gotten his best friend killed. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea," he whispered, "I don't want someone else getting hurt because of my stupidity."

Biting his lip Light shook his head. This was something he had to do. Grunting slightly he lowered his hands to the cold window pane and pulled himself through the open space into the room.

Darkness rested upon every inch of the room. Only the shallow wisp of the wind could be heard from where he stood. He stood motionless planting his feet into the carpet beneath him. He could hear someone moving.

"Who's there?" he gasped not daring to move even a finger. He stared blankly into the darkness as his eyes slowly began to adjust. There, from the corner of his eye he spotted a slight movement. Stepping forward cautiously he turned in the direction from which he had seen it. "Tell me who you are or I'll-." His voice was stopped midway through the sentence as cold lips collided with his.

Searching desperately for a way to get just a glance of who this was Light spun around suddenly holding the person tightly underneath the moonlight. "Ryuuzaki," that name stuck to his tongue and forced a flicker of a smile to crack the mask he had worn since the day he became Kira. "Why aren't you-?"

Ryuuzaki let out a sigh and pulled out of Light's grip, "You're here for the Death Note, right?" he said stepping backward slowly, "Well, I'm here to stop you. I'm one of the few who still believe that you're Kira, and I'm also one of the many who don't want you to be him.

"There's no excuse for using the Death Note. It's evil; you of all people should know that. You saw your friend die only two days ago, and yet you still want to use the very thing that killed him. It's wrong. What your friend told you didn't sink in at all did it?" Taking quick shallow breaths he bit his lip; he was close to tears. "I don't understand you," he whispered, "you can't be this way. You can't be Kira again, because I don't love Kira; I love Light. If Light leaves me I don't know what I'll do. I've never needed anyone like this. Please, if you leave me it's just like killing me."

Light stood stunned. Ryuuzaki had only been open with his emotions once before. He was only this open when he meant every word he said. Looking into the boys glimmering black eyes Light let out a breath. Ryuuzaki couldn't lie. "Is there really no excuse?" he said leaning against the wall, one hand resting upon the window pane. "What if I used it for you? What if I used it only so you wouldn't die?"

Ryuuzaki shook his head, "Fighting fire with fire only causes that fire to grow; fighting darkness with darkness only signalizes a pointless end; fighting death with death will cause the end of the world. If you take part in this your efforts are in vain."

"You're not getting it, Ryuuzaki," he said holding the boy's arms tightly between his hands, "I'm not fighting; I'm trying to save you from getting hurt. I don't want to lose someone else too, especially you. Please, let me use the Death Note to kill the third Kira. Let me take care of you."

Standing motionless Ryuuzaki stared into Light's dark eyes. Use the Death Note…for him?

Light let out a breath and moved his hands to Ryuuzaki's shoulders, "Believe me, I only wanted to help you. I don't want to lose you. I know who this Kira is; I'll explain later. But, please, either let me kill her or take her into custody. Otherwise, we'll never get rid of Kira."

Ryuuzaki bit his lip and backed away, "You're a liar," he whispered moving a hand to the wall by his side, "I can't believe a word you say, Yagami Light."

"You think this is fake?" Light whispered stepping forward slowly, "You think all of this has been a lie? You think everything I feel for you is a lie?" He stepped closer and raised his hands to the boy's cheeks. Stepping even closer he leaned and kissed him almost hesitantly.

Letting out a breath Ryuuzaki pulled away from Light and threw a punch in his direction, "I don't trust you; I'll never be able to trust you. Murder is never right, no matter the circumstances."

"Then what about those people who are locked away for unthinkable years in prison? They're only awaiting an inevitable death. How is that not murder? You're still killing people; you're just using a different method." Light kept his voice down remembering that his father had not returned home; he had to be here.

Ryuuzaki bit his lip and stepped backwards, "That's different; those people deserve it."

Light pressed his feet into the carpet unwilling to move, "It's not different, Ryuuzaki," he said raising his arms to shield his face as the boy threw another punch his way. "If they deserve to die doesn't Kira? Or are your emotions getting in the way again? Is it because you still think I'm Kira? Are you afraid that I'm Kira? Will killing this Kira make you believe that you have to kill me just to be fair? You don't, even if I were Kira I'm not the one doing this. Don't you understand? I love you; I'm trying to help you."

Ryuuzaki stood still repressing every voice that tempted him to apologize. "I-," he began hesitantly, "I'm sorry, Light. I didn't mean to say those things." Letting his hand slip underneath the sheet that hung over the side of the bed he took a thin black book into his hand, "If you want the Death Note," he whispered holding it in Light's direction, "I'll give it to you, but if I do, you have to promise to kill me with it as well."

"Kill you?" Light whispered overwhelmed with shock, "I- I can't do that."

"You have to," Ryuuzaki whispered. Not a hint of regret or remorse could be seen in his eyes; his words were sincere. "If you use the Death Note to kill someone else you have to kill me with it. As long as I'm here Kira will never be caught. Because, I can't bear to see Kira behind bars, nor could I ever watch Kira's executions." Raising his eyes so that he gazed into Light's he whispered, "Because, you're Kira."

The wind wailed through the open window like the cries of a hungry wolf. Light's eyes quivered subconsciously as he watched Ryuuzaki throw the Death Note to the floor before his feet. _"I don't want this,"_ he thought silently staring down at the black notebook, _"I didn't bargain for this. I only wanted to help him; I didn't want him to get hurt even worse in the process."_ He licked his lips slowly and glanced up at Ryuuzaki, _"The last thing I want to do is hurt you. You know that."_

Kicking the Death Note aside Light took slow steps toward the boy and thoughtlessly wrapped his arms around his waist, "I don't need it," he whispered bringing his head down to Ryuuzaki's shoulder, "all I need is you. We can find a way out of this, I promise. We'll be out of this maze soon. Soon, we'll find the end."

Feeling a touch on his shoulder Light planted a kiss on the boy's neck and smiled, "Is my father here?" he whispered stepping closer, "Is anyone here?"

Ryuuzaki nodded against him and answered in a shaky almost uncertain voice, "Your father's here. He's upstairs, on the fifth floor. Everyone else is in their original rooms." He took a deep uncontrolled breath and bit his lip fearfully feeling the arms around him pull tighter.

"Do you want to see how much I care about you?" Light whispered lifting a hand and lacing it tightly in the boy's darks thin hair.

Closing his eyes slowly Ryuuzaki let out a breath and replied, "Not if you're leaving me again. If you're leaving, leave now. I don't want to be in your way, and I don't want you to use me either. Unlike Misa-san, I won't be your puppet."

Light pulled away slightly and smiled down at Ryuuzaki, "I wouldn't expect it from you," he whispered taking his chin between his thumb and index finger. "Unlike what I feel for Misa, I love you with all of my heart. I'd do anything for you, Ryuuzaki. Haven't I shown that already?"

Nodding Ryuuzaki glanced toward the door and smiled inwardly remembering that he had locked it tightly the moment he walked in. "Promise me," he whispered reluctantly closing his eyes slightly as if attempting to hide his face, "promise you won't leave again, no matter what your father says. If you leave I want to be with you. All my life I've never had anyone; I'm tired of being a shadow, of being alone. Please, don't leave me again."

"Never," Light whispered kissing the boy's nose softly, "I'll never leave you. If I break that promise you can kill me with your own hands." Seeing a flicker of a smile appear on Ryuuzaki's lips Light leaned forward almost instinctively and kissed his lips as gently as possible. This was the only way.

Ryuuzaki let out a breath as Light gently forced him onto the bed. This wouldn't mean anything to Light. He knew that, this would just be another step down the road of ultimate deception. There was nothing they could do; this maze was never-ending. With both of them alive Kira would never be caught. To reach the end, a sacrifice had to be made.


	12. Chapter 11

_A/N: As I mentioned in the last chapter, there was some confusion with the final sentence. I changed it in order to clear up any confusion. Again, I apologize for the confusion it caused. In this chapter you'll find out more of what confused you on the last chapter. Hope this one doesn't confuse you:)_

Chapter 11

Staring up into the blank white ceiling Ryuuzaki glanced over at the boy sleeping soundly beside him. There would be no way to deny what they had done. The small television that sat upon the dresser near the door had been muted and all that could be seen was a cloud of white static.

Ryuuzaki lowered his hands to his stomach; he felt almost nauseous. He felt his stomach churn and sat up slowly. His hair fell over his face sloppily. Shivering as he felt the cold air fall over his bare skin he glanced back at Light and smiled sadly. The alarm clock next to the bed had been knocked to the floor and had blinked 12:00 for the past five hours.

He gave a sigh and turned away. Five hours, that was how long he had been lying there awake staring into the lifeless darkness the camouflaged the ceiling. Light had not said a word besides the meaningless ramblings he mumbled in his sleep.

Small rays of light streamed in through the closed window blinds as the sun slowly rose above the horizon. It must have been close to seven o'clock. Around this time of year the sun came up around six, and even then it was hard to specify whether it was night or day.

Falling backwards into the soft bed Ryuuzaki pulled the covers up to his chin and laid his head upon the soft feather pillow. _"If I could burn the Death Note this would be half-way over,"_ he thought silently staring at Light solemnly. _"But that would eliminate any chance we really have of getting close to this Kira."_ He took a breath and tilted his head, _"Or would it?"_

Was there another way to get close to someone who had the Shinigami eyes? Of course, there was the option of wearing police helmets just as they had in the Sakura TV incident. But, this Kira could be expecting it. There could be more than one person carrying these killings out. Now, there was no way to be certain what or who they were dealing with.

"I want this to end," Ryuuzaki whispered keeping as quit as possible attempting not to wake the sleeping boy by his side, "I want to solve this case just as I have every other. I don't want this one to be the end." Slowly, he turned away from Light and covered his eyes with the thin sky blue sheet like a child hiding from his mother. This case would never really be solved unless Light lost his memory completely and never regained it.

Willingly, Light would most likely never give up the Death Note. That was evident by the way he used excuses to try to re-obtain it. He was still the owner no matter how many people it was passed around to. He would always remember that he was Kira, and with that knowledge intact there would be no way to rid the world of Kira. The only way to get rid of Kira would be to kill L and then Kira. This was the only solution.

Ryuuzaki gave a sigh and closed his eyes slowly. L would never be able to watch Kira die, but Kira would be able to watch L die. There was always a part of Light that wanted to be Kira and longed to feel that power. If that power could distract Light for only a moment L could disappear and the world could do as they wished to Kira.

"But I don't want to do that," Ryuuzaki whispered to himself. He cracked one eye lightly open as he heard the air conditioner switch off automatically. "If there's any other way," he said swinging his legs over the side of the bed, "someone show me what it is."

Slowly he lowered his bare feet to the cold carpeted floor and glanced down feeling a hard surface below the heel of one foot. His jaw hung open as the events of the night before flooded back suddenly. Light had kicked the Death Note under the bed carelessly. Ryuuzaki bent over slightly and took the book into his hands; that was something he least expect from Light.

Opening it slowly to the first page he flipped through it giving each name a second to register as he glanced over the pages. This notebook had brought them together, and in time it would tear them apart. It was fate. Like a toy that attracts two children and is the reason for their friendship, but at the end of the day they will argue over who keeps the toy and that friendship is shattered because that object can only be possessed by one of them.

Ryuuzaki glanced over the final page that was half way filled and sighed. There was no way to change destiny, and it was becoming apparent that their destinies did not intertwine. They would lead separate lives, and would ultimately be nothing more than mere acquaintances who worked together on the Kira Case.

"Are we really anything more than that?" he whispered closing the notebook slowly. "Is our relationship really anything more than work partners? The only reason he was here was to help with the investigation. He wasn't brought here for mine or anyone else's benefit. It was to help us catch Kira. I suppose I never truly learned that."

Holding his breath he closed his eyes and placed the notebook beside him on the bed. Light still slept soundly on the opposite side of the bed. Ryuuzaki smiled and glanced over his shoulder. _"Even if I never see you again,"_ he thought silently, _"I'm at least glad that I got to watch you sleep."_

Crawling closer to the boy Ryuuzaki reached out and moved the long bangs from Light's forehead and nodded, "When you're asleep you look so innocent." He whispered, "But you're not, are you? You know what it's like to hurt and be hurt. In a way I wish I had your life, but in another way I don't know if I could put up with your life. I've never known anyone well enough to call them friends; you're the first and probably the last."

Suddenly Light raised a hand and wrapped his fingers around Ryuuzaki's wrist, "Lay down," he moaned pulling gently at the boy's arm, "you're moving too much. I can't sleep." He opened one eye and smiled slightly as he pulled the boy down beside him, "Why are you sitting up, anyway?"

"I don't know," Ryuuzaki whispered lying down next to him, "I couldn't sleep and the sun came up, so I was waiting for you to wake up." He gave the boy a smile and shifted so that he lay on his side facing Light.

Yawning slightly Light nodded and let his head fall to the pillow, "Oh," he whispered closing his eyes once again. "I'm sorry if I kept you up," he said releasing Ryuuzaki's wrist and pulling the covers up past his shoulder, "Will the rest of the task force need you to get up soon?"

Letting out a breath Ryuuzaki nodded and replied, "Usually I don't even leave the main room. They'll wonder; I'm sure of that. But, for now I'll stay with you."

Light smiled and snuggled closer to the boy, "That's sweet," he whispered holding the sheets close as he remembered that his clothes were scattered throughout the room. "Ryuuza-," he started but stopped feeling Ryuuzaki press two fingers against his lips.

"We don't get to see one another very often, or at least we haven't lately. So, let me give you my suggestion regarding this." Once he received a nod from Light he smiled and continued, "I'll send your father home tonight with a request that he discuss this with your mother, our _relationship_ that is. If your mother doesn't see a problem with it your father might allow you back into Headquarters. But, at this point I'm not even sure of what to do."

Giving Ryuuzaki a reassuring smile Light opened his eyes and nodded, "You'll figure it out. You always do," he whispered as he laid his head wearily upon the pillow, "Should I leave now? I have a feeling I'll fall asleep soon."

Ryuuzaki nodded, "That would be a good idea," he said slowly as he sat up and held a hand out to the boy beside him, "You can go home and sleep for the rest of the morning." Letting out a breath he fiddled with the thick gray string that fastened the long inky pants that hung down below his ankles. "I'll get your clothes for you, ok," he said standing slowly and gathering the random pieces of clothing piled in different placed around the small room.

"Thanks," Light groaned sleepily as he pulled the thin white shirt over his head. "Ryuuzaki," he called in a hushed voice as he watched the boy take the scattered clothing and fold it over his arm, "I don't mean to be so much trouble. If anyone catches us I'll take the blame this time."

Turning slightly Ryuuzaki shook his head, "Are you trying to say you didn't take the blame last time?" he asked placing the pile of clothes on the bed by Light's feet, "I seem to recall that you were the one who was pushed through the door and forced to stay away. No one, besides your father, has mentioned it to me."

Light groaned and took the dark kaki pants into his hand. "But, you're L, the leader of the Kira Investigation; they wouldn't say anything to you, especially if it pertained to a possible suspect."

With a sigh Ryuuzaki turned away and smiled, "It doesn't make a difference whether they say it or not. They're still thinking it. I'm sure a lot of people think I'm…strange…" He laced his fingers behind his back and continued, "However, I've never been one to take what people say or think seriously." Glancing over his shoulder he chuckled watching Light struggle into his pants stubbing his toe against the clock still on the floor. Not even letting out a gasp of pain he fastened a black belt around his waist and stepped into the muddy white shoes he had left by the bed.

Taking the rest of the pile into his hands Light smiled and made his way toward the still open window, "So, this is why it was so cold," he whispered pushing the nearly transparent sky blue curtains to either side of the window. Turning slightly he smiled to Ryuuzaki and pushed himself through the window. Chuckling slightly as he turned away he said, "I feel like a criminal trying to escape from prison."

Ryuuzaki smiled, "And I feel like the partner you're leaving behind," he said leaning against the window frame.

"I wouldn't leave if I didn't have to," Light said stepping closer the window. "But, either way, we'll see one another again. I know my mother; she won't mind as long as I'm happy and I'm making someone else happy." Giving Ryuuzaki a smile he turned away and took quick steps away from the building.

Nodding Ryuuzaki whispered to himself, "I hope you're right. But, I'll have some trouble explaining this to everyone else." He let out a sigh and closed the window slowly. Gazing out into the aquamarine sky he smiled and turned away slowly. No matter what happened next, his life had improved in so many ways since this investigation began. If things had to end the way he envisioned it; if the world had to kill L and then Kira, at least he had the chance to know what love feels like.


	13. Chapter 12

A/N: Hi! So, this one was kind of late. I wanted to apologize for that. A lot of things have been swirling around in my head lately, so I didn't really have much time. Again, I'm sorry. I hope you all had a great Christmas and New Years. This chapter, I'm not very sure about. I thought, as I wrote it, that it was pretty boring, and seemed repeat itself. I'm sorry if it's not as interesting as you had hoped.

(if you get bored you can just hit the little "back" button at the top of the screen… : ) )

A/N2: Sachiko is Light's mother. You'll need to know that to understand this chapter.

Chapter 12

The door swung open loudly allowing the warm air to be replaced with the freezing air that rushed in like water through the door. Heavy footsteps echoed as the door slammed shut. The windows were shaded with the darkness of night, and the moon hung just above the small house.

"Father," Light whispered turning away from his sister slowly. With a slight smile he stood from the sofa and dropped the small silver pen to the wooden coffee table, "You're home early."

Sayu smiled brightly; her dark eyes lit like stars as she rose quickly and hurriedly ran to where her father stood. "We've missed you, father," she said wrapping her arms around his neck carelessly, "Light said you would come home; mother will be so happy!" Smiling brightly, she stepped away from her father and hurried into the brightly lit kitchen.

"Light," Soichiro sighed loudly as he took a step forward, "Ryuuzaki has asked that I discuss your "relationship" with your mother. If she approves, I will allow you to return to headquarters. But," he hesitated as he planted his feet into the carpet and listened as his wife and daughter hurried to prepare dinner, "before you return, I want your mother to meet Ryuuzaki."

Light let out a breath and stepped forward placing a hand upon the back of the navy sofa. "Father, mother doesn't need to know anything more than his name and a description. If she sees him, she _will _disapprove. You know just as well as I that mother has always wanted me to find an organized, kind, outgoing, and pulled together person, like Hiroshi; she'll never approve of Ryuuzaki.

Soichiro shook his head and took his glasses from his nose. Raising a hand to his forehead, "I'm sorry, Light," he said slowly as he placed the slightly cracked and scratched glasses on the cushion by his side, "but this is the only way I can trust you. I have met Ryuuzaki, and now I want your mother to as well."

Opening his mouth slightly to respond Light leaned forward and stopped hearing his father continue. "We will bring him to the house, and act as if he is from your school. She does not need to know that he is L or that he is leading the Kira Investigation." Turning to look in Light's direction Soichiro frowned and blinked tiredly, "Tonight, I will talk to your mother."

Standing slowly Soichiro stepped around Light's outstretched legs and took slow steps into the yellow tiled kitchen. "Hello, dear," Light heard his mother call loudly as he stood from the sofa and shoved his hands into the warmth of his pants pockets.

"I can't believe this," Light whispered as he stepped around the arm of the sofa, "Father has to bring Ryuuzaki here." He let out a hesitant breath and raised a hand to the pure whitewashed wall, "Sayu will meet him; Mother will meet him. What can I say? He's not even close to what they'd expect."

Leaning against the wall Light let out a sigh and glanced sideways at his father's tall shadow that splayed across the floor. His father had complained about Ryuuzaki's appearance the day that Light joined the Investigation. "You hated him," Light whispered taking an awkward step toward the kitchen, "so what makes you think mother won't?"

Dinner was finished soon afterward, and as they seated themselves in their usual seats, Light's heart dropped into his stomach. Would his father bring Ryuuzaki up over dinner? Shaking his head to himself, he sat slowly in the light wooden chair; his father knew better than to bring such a thing up, especially in front of Sayu.

As his mother served the usual dishes, Light leaned back in his seat; his appetite was gone. Every few seconds he would glance sideways at his father, ensuring that the conversation would not drift to Ryuuzaki or their relationship. His mother smiled slightly as she finished serving the dishes and sat in her seat next to her daughter.

"So," Sachiko said softly as she gripped the cup next to her full plate, "how has your day been, dear? You came home rather early." She took a sip of the hot, dark liquid in the cup and smiled across the table to Light.

Soichiro smiled and took a bite of the pure whit rice in the bowl that sat before him, "I had some time off; they let me come home early." He couched slightly, covering his mouth with his free hand and turned hesitantly in Light's direction. "Sachiko," he said turning to his wife, "after dinner I'd like to talk to you and Light."

Sayu pulled her knees in to her chest and frowned sadly. "What?" her voice screeched as she shifted to sit on her knees, "Why won't you tell me? Is it because I'm the youngest? Is it a grown-up thing?" Her eyes wandered from person to person as her lips formed a frown.

Nodding slightly Light leaned away from his plate and glanced across at Sayu, "It's a pretty grown up thing, Sayu; we'll tell you once it's decided." His lips fell into a straight line as he turned away from her and stared at the light wood of the table. Soon, they would know.

Throughout the remainder of dinner, Sayu slouched in her seat, repeating the same questions to her father and brother. "What don't you want me to know?" she squealed leaning over the table in her brother's direction, "I have the right to know; I'm part of this family too."

Sachiko smiled warmly placing a hand upon her daughter's arm. "Sayu, sweetie," her voice was hushed, sounding almost like a soft lullaby, "Would you go up to your room for a while, please. I'd like to talk to your father and brother alone."

With a frown, Sayu nodded solemnly and slipped from the chair to the cold floor. "Alright," she sighed as she took slow steps toward the long staircase, "I'll go upstairs and let you talk about "grown up things." Her voice fell into a hushed whisper as she turned the corner and her footsteps faded down the hallway.

"Well?" Sachiko said with a smile as she looked over the two men sitting across from her, "Maybe we should continue this conversation in the living room." She pushed her seat away from the table slowly and stepped across the floor, "I can make some tea while the two of you decide what you want to say." Once she had finished she stepped around the table and made her way into the cold wide kitchen.

With a nod Soichiro stood and motioned to Light slightly, "Come on," he said, his voice hoarse and cold.

Light nodded standing hesitantly from his seat, "Coming," he called as his father passed through the kitchen into the living room. With a sigh, Light stepped onto the cold tiles of the kitchen floor. "Mother," he whispered watching the woman scramble around the room, "I need you to be open minded about what we're about to tell you." He bit his lip seeing his mother glance over her shoulder and smile warmly.

"You don't have to worry, Light," Sachiko whispered stepping away from the counter as she placed three small tea cups, decorated with vines and cherry blossoms upon the pure white counter. "I'll listen to everything you want me to hear before I make a decision."

"Thank you," Light whispered stepping away from her into the small living room. He took a deep breath as he trudged across the floor and sat by his father's side on the sofa.

Soichiro drew a breath and glanced sideways at Light, taking his glasses from the cushion by his side and placing them hesitantly upon his nose, "I don't think this would be a good thing to tell Sayu," he said propping his feet up on the stool he had placed before him. "I would rather her not have to deal with this."

Light nodded slightly as he stared blankly at his own feet, "I understand," he whispered slinging an arm over the armrest wearily, "but do you think she'll accept that?" His gaze remained locked upon the floor as he brought his feet closer to the sofa. "She's very curious."

"I know," Soichiro sighed raising a hand to his chin, "but it's for her own good."

"Well, now," Sachiko said happily as she stepped into the room, carrying a tray that held three of the beautifully decorated, porcelain cups, filled to the rim with dark steaming liquid. She held one of the small cups out to each of them and smiled as she sat between them with her own cup held tight within her hands. "What is this about?"

Light let out a breath as his father began slowly. "Sachiko," he said softly, "your son has been keeping something from both of us. He has made a crucial decision in his life, and has kept it completely secret from the two of us. I feel that after being told about it; I should discuss it with you."

"_Yeah, right,"_ Light thought silently as his lips twisted into a smirk, _"You wouldn't be talking to her at all if Ryuuzaki had never said a word. You'd still be at my throat making sure I never came near him."_

Sachiko let out a breath and turned to Light slowly, "Would you like to tell me about this, Light? Or would you rather your father keep going?" She blew softly into the cup and smiled seeing the steam disappear momentarily.

Turning to his father slowly Light lowered his voice. "You were the one who called this meeting, father," he said softly under his breath, "I'd rather you continue with this." He turned away slowly and sighed, "You're doing very well with it."

With a nod Soichiro continued, "You know that your son has had many, many girls after him. He has had more girlfriends than we most likely know of. But, now, he's gotten particularly close to a boy." He hesitated to continue, seeing his wife's eyes widen slightly, "Light was hoping that you would give him a chance to show you and me that he believes it is right. I was also hoping that you would meet the boy. I've met him already, but my decision cannot be final until you see him as well."

Sachiko sat stunned, staring down into the dark liquid in the cup. After moments of pure silence she smiled and glanced sideways at Light, "I would like to meet him." She said before blowing once more into the cup. "But, Light," she began slowly as he shifted closer to the armrest, "I want you to know that I will give this boy a chance, but he will have to reach many standards for me to accept him."

Light nodded as he stood slowly from the sofa and crossed his ankles slowly, "Thank you," he whispered as he bowed his head slightly, "should I call him and ask that he find time to come here to meet you?" He faked a smile and stepped backwards, leaning against the wall behind him.

"Yes," Sachiko whispered as she shifted closer to her husband and raised her feet to rest her legs upon the cushion beside her, "You can go upstairs and do that now. Tell your sister that she can come downstairs now, and make sure she cleans off the table."

"I will," Light said as he turned away from his parents and made his way through the kitchen, placing his still full cup upon the counter. If he asked Ryuuzaki to come here, would it happen? He took slow steps through the dining room and up the staircase. As he reached the top step, he peered down the hallway, lit brightly with the flickering light bulb that hung from pure white ceiling.

As he slowly approached one of the whitewashed doors, he knocked softly on the one that led into his sister's room. "Sayu," he called through the open crack in the door, "you can go downstairs now, but mother wants you clean off the table for her. Can you do that?"

A loud sigh came through crack followed by a moan of frustration, "Alright," she groaned as she pressed the door shut. The locked clicked as Light stepped away and placed a hand upon the cold door knob mounted upon the door that led to his room.

"What should I do?" he whispered to himself as he twisted the door knob and stepped slowly into the cold room. The heater had broken down merely days before, and now the house had become extremely cold. "I don't know what Ryuuzaki _wants _to do, and I know I can't _make _him do anything."

With a sigh, Light fell backwards onto the neatly made bed and closed his eyes tightly, "After all, he was the one who suggested this." He bit his lip slightly and smiled to himself, "Maybe, Ryuuzaki saw this coming. Maybe, this will work out."

His lips turned into a smile of pure ecstasy as he remembered the night before. If only every night could be like that night; if only he and Ryuuzaki could be together. If only-. Light sat up suddenly, his eyes jerked open. If his mother accepted their relationship, he would be able to return to the Task Force. If he was able to get close to Ryuuzaki again, maybe he could convince him that he knew who the newest Kira was. Maybe, they would be able to confine Tsukiko, and this entire affair could be put to rest once and for all.

Light let out a sigh and allowed himself to fall back onto the bed, leaving an imprint in the soft mattress. "Ryuuzaki," he whispered staring into the white ceiling, "I can't stop thinking about you now. If we're separated; if my mother doesn't accept this, I don't know what I'll do. I guess we'll have to elope, because there's no way I'll be able to live without you." He closed his eyes slowly and smiled, "We'll work this out; I know we will."


	14. Chapter 13

AN: I'm sorry, once again. This chapter is way over due, and I'm not exactly sure that it makes up for the time I spent trying to write it. For some reason, this was one of the hardest chapters I've written so far. I think it might have been the fact that Ryuuzaki and Sachiko had never been in the same room together, much less talking about Light. Well, anyway, I'm just glad I finally got though this one. Oh, and since some of you really liked the idea of Ryuuzaki an Light "eloping" I might add something special for you:) But, for now, enjoy!

AN2: I'm not exactly sure how you say "ma'am" in a Japanese way, so I just used the word (ma'am). I hope that doesn't confuse you at all!

Chapter 13

Ryuuzaki tugged frustratingly at the scarlet red tie that clung to his neck like the slimy legs of an octopus and gagged slightly. "Yagami-san," he said slowly as he sat back in the dark leather car seat, "are you positive that this is the only way?" He glanced sideways over the tight seatbelt and frowned to the man by his side.

Soichiro nodded stiffly, his hands glued to the cold steering wheel, his eyes locked upon the road before him. "If there was another way to do this I would have told you so." He tightened his grip on the wheel, "It was hard enough watching Light mope around the house for the past two days." He glanced sideways and let out a slight sigh, "He moans your name," he hesitated, running his tongue over his chapped lips, "in his sleep."

Releasing the thin tie slowly Ryuuzaki let his jaw fall open and stared into the bright yellow headlights of the cars that passed them by. "He what?" his voice dropped to a tone that was barely audible, "How would you know?" He drew his legs in to his chest and frowned, pressing his nose into the space between his trembling knees.

"I've been watching him sleep lately," Soichiro sighed shifting in the seat, "Sachiko asked me to. She says that he's growing up too fast," he shook his head solemnly, "I never even noticed."

Glancing sideways at Soichiro, Ryuuzaki sighed and turned slowly to the frosted window, "I'm sorry," he whispered sadly. He could feel the tension growing between them. He bit his lip slightly. "If this works," he shifted and peered over the low armrest into Soichiro's dark eyes, "I'll treat your son well."

Soichiro glanced quickly from Ryuuzaki to the road, unsure of how to respond. He nodded slowly as they approached the small house, "I know," he whispered, "and don't forget that Aizawa is following us. He'll be outside just in case anything happens."

Ryuuzaki nodded in return and smiled slightly, "I remember, but you did fail to tell my why you asked him to follow us. Do you think Light would get violent about this?" He turned his head and focused on the mirror mounted upon the car door. Aizawa's dark black car followed close behind them, quickly gaining speed.

As they turned into the driveway, the car screeched to a halt. Soichiro took the keys from the ignition and glanced sideways at Ryuuzaki, "No, I just have a feeling." He sighed and opened the door quickly, before stepping out into the open air.

Ryuuzaki sighed feeling his heart beet pound in his chest. His stomach churned and burned with anxiety, "Here we go," he whispered, as he opened the car door slowly and stepped down onto the gravel driveway. He squinted as his feet fell upon the hard ground beneath him.

The porch light shone dim light over the yard; stars glimmered in the dark, black sky. "Light," Ryuuzaki whispered shoving his cold stiff hands into the tight pants pockets, "I'm not ready for this." His footsteps echoed loudly as he stepped up the wooden steps onto the wide porch.

Lifting his hand slowly to knock on the door, Ryuuzaki stepped backwards as the door opened suddenly. A soft hand took his, jerking him into the warmth of the house. "Ryuuzaki," Light's voice broke through the silence; the door slammed closed behind him, "I'm glad you came."

Glancing up slowly, Ryuuzaki smiled seeing Light's eyes shine like stars. He nodded spellbound and followed as Light led him through the small room, keeping a tight hold on his cold stiff hand at all times.

With a sigh, Light sat upon the sofa before his mother, who sat silently in the small crimson chair that had been moved from the corner to the center of the room. Sitting next to Light slowly, Ryuuzaki glanced around the room. Beautiful paintings of soft rolling landscapes and peaceful sunsets over the ocean hung upon the walls. The loud ticking of the small clock, mounted above the low doorway, synched with the beating of his heart.

Holding his breath, Ryuuzaki glanced up at Light's mother solemnly. She sat stiff like a stone in her seat, her hands resting upon her lap, fingers enlaced tightly. Her warm brown eyes hazed with both anger and confusion. Her lips were set in a straight line; her nose crinkled slightly. _"I'm sorry to have caused you so much trouble_," Ryuuzaki thought to himself as he glanced furtively in Light's direction, _"Maybe you wouldn't be hurting so much if I hadn't gotten in your way."_

"Alright," Soichiro's voice shattered the wall of silence as he dragged one of a dark brown, wooden chair across the carpeted floor. The short legs dug a small path in the carpet that led from the kitchen through the living room. He placed it slowly by his wife and sat across from Light. "Sachiko," he glanced sideways at the woman by his side, "go on."

The woman smiled warmly to her husband and turned to Ryuuzaki coldly. "Young man," she began closing her eyes thoughtfully, "I understand so far that you and my son had a very short relationship. Is that true?"

Ryuuzaki glanced up; he could feel his heart sinking lower into his stomach. Nodding absently he felt Light's grip on his hand tighten slightly, "I mean," he stammered, "yes- ma'am."

Sachiko raised a hand to her lips, muffling a chuckle and glanced up at Ryuuzaki once again. "Young man," she said once again, "I don't even know your name. I don't mean to intimidate you; I only want to know that you are sincere about this." She drew a breath, "You were not called here only to be told that this relationship is out of the question. You were called here to assure that you are willing to continue moving forward with my son."

Sighing with relief Ryuuzaki glanced sideways at Light, his eyes were locked upon his mothers, clouded with disbelief. His jaw hung open; perfect white teeth shielded by chapped pink lips. _"You really are sure about this, aren't you?"_ he thought silently.

"Now, first of all, I'd like to ask for your name," Sachiko said, a smile now playing upon her lips; her eyes now clear and glimmering with happiness.

Ryuuzaki opened his mouth to respond but stopped hearing Soichiro interrupt: "Sachiko, are you sure you're not taking this too lightly? Light snuck around behind our backs, both of them did. And, you want to let them have a real relationship?"

Sachiko nodded, "I do," she said simply. She turned from her husband and smiled slightly to Ryuuzaki, "Now, then, what is your name young man? That is the first thing I would like to know."

Glancing hesitantly in Light's direction, Ryuuzaki smiled seeing him nod sincerely. "My name is Ryuuzaki, ma'am," he said turning back to her. He hesitated, "Ma'am, I'm willing to tell you anything about myself, my life, anything you'd like to know. That is, if that would help the situation at all." He bit his lip hesitantly; he could feel tension building. "I love your son," he said, his voice just above a whisper, "more than anything. I'll give you anything if it means that you'll trust me to take care of him."

Soichiro's fogged glasses had been lifted from his nose and placed upon the short, chestnut coffee table. His eyes were closed tightly, his thumb and forefinger circling 'round his temple. "I know, Ryuuzaki," he said slowly, "and I know that Light loves you just as much." He opened his eyes slightly, "However, you don't seem to comprehend completely what risks you'll take. Not everyone will accept you; some might even hate you." He leaned forward, "Can you cope with that?"

Light released Ryuuzaki's hand suddenly and stood, "We know that, Father," he began; he tensed feeling Ryuuzaki's eyes burning his back, "but I've always been willing to go through that. If two people love one another enough, they shouldn't even have to think about it. So, I'm not afraid, and I know that Ryuuzaki isn't. Why can't you trust me?"

With a frustrated sigh, Soichiro leaned forward in his seat. "We do trust you, Light," he said, his voice mingled with doubt, "we just don't want to see you hurt, that's all."

Breathing shallowly Light sat reluctantly by Ryuuzaki, his back stiff and his hands clenched tightly into fists. "I won't be hurt," he said below his breath, almost as if the words were only meant to reach Ryuuzaki. "Then," he began raising his voice so that it carried harshly across the room, "this is hopeless. If you've only called him here to talk to me about risks and obstacles, then how can we even hope that you'd accept us. Why won't you give us your answer? Yes or no, father," he turned slowly to his Sachiko, "mother, take your pick."

Ryuuzaki placed his hands stiffly upon his knees; their entire future would rest upon the next words that came from Soichiro. He tightened his grip and bit his lip; if Soichiro wouldn't allow it there would be no future.

A heavy tension settled around the room. Cold eyes locked as Soichiro began to respond.

The door swung open, slamming loudly against the wall behind it. A man, tall and strong, fell to the carpeted floor. His gasps for breath could be translated into one word, "Kira."

Soichiro stood suddenly, knocking the wooden chair to the floor. "Aizawa," he raised his voice racing to his fallen companion's side. "No," his voice fell to a whisper, "Light, Ryuuzaki, get to a safe place. Don't let Kira see you; he has to be here somewhere. Sachiko," he stood slowly, taking hesitant steps toward his wife, "please, go and check on Sayu." He gasped slightly for a breath, glancing around the room, "Now."

Light stood quickly, taking Ryuuzaki's hand into his, "Come on," he whispered and led him through the dining room and up the short staircase. As they continued down the hallway, Light continued to glance back as if to ensure that the boy behind him had not vanished. Hesitantly leading Ryuuzaki to the closed door that led into his room, Light pushed it open thoughtlessly, paralyzed by what he saw there.

A girl, tall, dark brunette hair flowing down her back; red eyes glowing brightly in the darkness, stood before the opened window. "Light," she said slowly, a smile flickering upon his lips, "what a surprise. We meet again. Oh, and this time you've brought a toy," She smiled viciously, "how delightful."

"Tsukiko," Light gasped stepping backward into the hallway, nearly falling backward against Ryuuzaki, "how did you get here?" He held Ryuuzaki's hand firmly; knowing that to look back would only create more tension between him and the girl standing before him.

The girl gave a loud laugh, "It was easy," she began motioning for Light to come closer. "Now, come in, Light," her smile twisted into a smirk, "I want to meet your precious lover face to face." Her eyes gleamed crimson with anticipation.

Light stepped farther into the room closing the door as Ryuuzaki stepped inside. "Ryuuzaki," he whispered to the boy behind him, "I-," he stammered turning to him slowly. He raised his hands to the boys narrow shoulders and held him close, "I love you," he whispered, "I'll protect you."

Tsukiko threw the black book in her hands to the floor, "Light," she said, her voice echoed with an intense frustration, "step away from him." She stepped forward, leaving the book beneath the train of her long flowing white dress- a wedding dress.

Turning slowly from Ryuuzaki, Light ignored the hands that attempted to keep him close. "I won't," he said raising his arms so that they created a straight line across his chest, "I love him, Tsukiko; even you have to understand those emotions." He looked over her slowly, stunned by the muddy wedding dress that hung down past her feet. "Why are you wearing this?" The words came unconsciously.

Smiling sadly, Tsukiko stepped forward, revealing high-healed sliver shoes, studded with beautiful jewels. Her eyes faded from crimson to sapphire, "I only want Misa's attention. I thought that if I got back at you she'd come to me, but I was wrong." Her smile disappeared, a frown taking its place, "Even when I'm around her she'll only talk about you and how much she wishes you loved her." Suddenly, crimson took her eyes once more. "Maybe now is the time to kill you, Light. She'll forget soon enough."

Ryuuzaki blinked confusedly. Who was this person; a friend of Light's? "No," he whispered to himself beneath his breath, "_She's the third Kira._" He stepped to the side, peering through the darkness, "Girl," he said fearlessly as he stepped past Light slowly, "what kind of grudge do you have against Light? What could you possibly want from him?"

The girl smiled suddenly, "Well, Lawliet," her words rang out happily, "this man has taken my one true love from me. He deserves to die for that." Her smile brightened as she gazed thoughtfully in Ryuuzaki's direction, "Or maybe, I could take away the person he loves. Then, he'll feel the same pain, the same rejection that I feel." She nodded to herself as she bent over slowly, taking the thin book into her hands, "Yes," she whispered to herself taking a pen from Light's desk, "that's what I'll do."

Light stepped forward, his heartbeat becoming nearly unbearable. "Tsukiko," his voice was unusually low, a tone that sent nervous chills up Ryuuzaki's spine, "I won't let you do that." He took quick steps forward and knocked the notebook from her hands, "You made yourself vulnerable," he said, his eyes lit with the flame of rage, "and now you've lost."

The girl's face shone crimson and her lips formed a nervous frown, "Ryuk," she gasped backing toward the window. She placed her hands upon the open windowsill and stood tall, the cold wind lashing against her back.

"Ryuk isn't the most reasonable Shinigami, Tsukiko," Light took the notebook from the floor before his feet and turned in his former Shinigami's direction, "it's worthless to ask for his help." He smiled evilly, "Right, Ryuk?"

A dark aura filled the room; it seemed as if the very air they breathed had been poisoned. Ryuuzaki's eyes wandered around the room, was there something he couldn't see? He gasped suddenly, "_Shinigami._"

Ryuuzaki stepped backward,his thoughts wandering everywhere, his eyes searching for what he could not see, his heart searching for any conclusion besides the one that had forced itself into his mind, _"Light was Kira, I was right."_ His vision blurred, wet tears streamed down his cheeks as he fell to his knees, _"No." _He could hear Light say his name loudly, but still his eyes darkened, _"Light can't be Kira; I can't love Kira. This can't be real."_ The tears came still; his consciousness left him lying there, wishing to be anywhere but where he was, in a killer's arms.


	15. Chapter 14

A/N: I think I'm winding down to the final chapters here. ::starts to cry:: I think everything's starting to wrap up. But, don't fret! We still have a ways to go before this story is over!

A/N 2: If anything isn't making sense to you, please let me know. I want to make sure that I haven't gone down the wrong path.

A/N 3: Sorry that this one is so late! My beta and I had some…technical issues… : )

Chapter 14

The air conditioner buzzed loudly overhead, the frigid air blew into the small, white room through the metal vents that opened in the whitewashed ceiling. The dim white light shone down from the long, illuminated light bulbs that had been mounted into the ceiling, spaced scarcely away from one another. A short chestnut nightstand stood next to the low, white blanketed bed. Upon that nightstand, stood a large crystal vase, which held an overwhelming bouquet of fresh, crimson-red roses. They stood upon straight, emerald-green stems, small leaves branching off in couples, accompanied by the sharp thorns that could not be removed.

"Ryuuzaki," Light whispered, his raspy voice echoing through the small, silent room. He glanced up from his seat on the cold, cushioned armchair and sighed once more seeing the huddled mass that lay silently upon the bed. The pure white blanket was draped over the traumatized figure of his lover, who had slept soundlessly, as if in a coma, for two days. "I'm sorry," his voice was nearly inaudible, but what would it matter? The only one who could hear him was lying there a million miles away.

Light reached up suddenly, touching Ryuuzaki's warm forehead. "So close," he whispered brushing the bangs from the boy's pale face, "and yet so far away." He sighed to himself, allowing his hand to fall to his lap. He and his love were now separated by much more than a thin paper-like border, like that between life and death. But, now they were separated by a brick wall.

"Where can I go from here?" Light whispered to himself. There was no way to run from the truth any longer. He was Kira. This was a fact that he had come to accept, but never had he dealt with this scenario. Ryuuzaki was also being burdened by that fact. The very weight of those three small words had kept him silently in a vegetative state for days on end.

Was there any way to undo the tremendous effects of that fact? Was there any possible way to make it up to Ryuuzaki? Light shook his head; this was his second chance, his last chance. If he took this too lightly, there was always a chance that he would fail just as he had the first time. "No," he whispered to himself unable to as much as look at the shadow of the bed that fell over the white tiled floor.

He turned away suddenly, standing from the chair and knocking it backward in the process. Ignoring the loud clang of the low-backed chair falling against the floor, Light stepped up to the closed window. Outside, the world continued around them as if nothing had happened. Birds flew across the aquamarine sky, dotted with white puffy clouds. The emerald leaves of tall trees waved in the soft, caressing breeze. People scurried down the crowded streets making conversation with friends, family, or even random strangers.

Light narrowed his eyes in disgust. This world was cruel; he knew that better than most. However, he did not understand how the world outside could simply carry out their every day lives when everything around him, his very world was crumbling around him. Every little plan he had ever made for his future, every little word that he had hoped to say, every little thing that he had hoped to do with Ryuuzaki, every little moment that he planned to walk this earth- all of it would soon be destroyed, dissolved into thin air.

Was this what life was all about? Light leaned against the window frame, enlacing his fingers in his short hair. He had hidden away from life for so long that he was unfamiliar with it; unfamiliar with the pain and agony of loss, the adrenaline rush of the chase, and the fear of being caught. He had hidden behind the mask of his power, the pride of being immortal. Without the Death Note, though, he had realized happiness for what seemed to be the first time. His love for the boy who lay upon the hospital bed had overcome that pride.

But now, now that the Death Note had been retrieved, now that the secret was out, now that Ryuuzaki most likely hated Light, what would happen? There would not be a Kira Case for much longer. Light cringed at the thought, without the Kira Case, he and Ryuuzaki would never have met. Without the Kira Case, he may never have found true love. Without the Kira Case, his life was meaningless.

Thinking back into what he remembered from the night of Ryuuzaki's death, Light closed his eyes and thought over the few moments they had spent on the roof of the Task Force building. Ryuuzaki had said one sentence that sent shivers up Light's spine even today, _"Sad isn't it? It's nearly time to say farewell."_ Light cringed once again, his eyes opening slowly, revealing the bright, golden sunlight that shone through the glass window. The question that had crossed his mind so frequently in those days that he had spent following Ryuuzaki's death was just what that was supposed to mean. Perhaps, Ryuuzaki knew that he would die; perhaps, it was merely a coincidence. There was no way to be sure what he had meant by that statement.

Light turned slowly from the emptiness of the painted masquerade of happiness beyond the window to Ryuuzaki's sleeping form. With slow, cautious steps, as if he were walking through a swamp or a pit of quick sand, Light stepped up to the side of the bed and looked down upon the boy. His arms lay motionless by his sides, atop the thin blanket. His breathing was shallow and his chest heaved slightly with every breath he took. Light was reluctant to watch any longer; he was seeing the strong, brilliant boy in a way that he had hoped never to see. Needles had pierced his skin and were leaking various forms of medications into his veins with every second that passed.

Biting his lip, Light leaned down slowly and pressed his lips against Ryuuzaki's. He flinched, the boy's forehead was warm and so was the rest of his body, but his lips felt like ice. "Ryuuzaki," he whispered lifting a hand to the boy's flushed cheek, "wake up, for me, Ryuuzaki." Light shook him slightly, placing his hands upon his stiff shoulders, "Please, wake up. If you don't get up soon, you'll die like this." He leaned down once more, placing his forehead wearily against his lover's. "You can't do that to me again, Ryuuzaki; you can't put me through that." He felt the sweat from the boy's brow rub off against his and pulled away slightly.

A soft moan, mingled with agony, escaped from between Ryuuzaki's chapped lips as he unconsciously turned away from Light. His hands rolled into fists, and his eyes fluttered slightly. His voice came once more, but this time it spoke words, "Light-," his name was drawn out slightly, as if the voice was reluctant to cease speaking it. "Kira-," the sound of this name was stopped abruptly following the last letter. It seemed almost as if Ryuuzaki was attempting to make a connection in his unconscious mind.

Without a word, Light placed a hesitant hand upon the boy's stomach, "Ryuuzaki, I'm here. Light's here." He was close to crossing his fingers, hoping that Ryuuzaki could still separate Light from Kira. "Do you recognize me?" His heart skipped a beat as his eyes came in contact with Ryuuzaki's. They were clouded and glazed, distant as if he could not register what he saw.

Ryuuzaki's lips formed a straight line. He gazed up at Light distantly and after minutes of unbroken contact, turned away and closed his eyes tightly. "Why are you here?" He said simply, his voice was faint. It was now apparent just how much strength he had lost. "You let her get the Death Note, didn't you?"

Light blinked hearing the harsh tone of Ryuuzaki's voice, "No, Ryuuzaki," he said slowly, "it's over. The Death Note is with my father and the remaining Task Force members. They're trying their best to find Kira as of yet. Soon, you'll be able to go back to your life before Kira." Light listened to himself as he spoke those horrifying words. It was as if someone else had taken over his body, and he was powerless to do anything to stop the destruction that awaited him.

"Good."

That one word paralyzed Light's body. He stood motionless, towering above Ryuuzaki. Good? How could he say that? "You know that I never meant to harm you, right, Ryuuzaki?" That person took control of Light once more. Suddenly, a flame of rage ignited within him. The only person he truly loved had turned against him. _"No,"_ he thought to himself and brought a hand up to Ryuuzaki's, _"I won't let that happen."_

Ryuuzaki shook his head slowly, "I don't know what to think of you anymore, Light, or should I call you Kira now? You were hard enough to figure out as it was, but now that I know that I was always right about you, I'm not even sure of myself anymore. I knew from the beginning that you were Kira, and yet in the deepest depths of my soul, I didn't want to be right. I never wanted to be right, at least not after I fell in love with you. That was the first time in my life that I actually wanted to be wrong." He opened his eyes slowly, gazing at the blank wall by his side.

"But even though you knew that I was Kira, you still loved me. You kissed me; you held me," he hesitated, "you even made love with me. Are you denying what you felt back then? It was only a few days ago, Ryuuzaki, you knew that I was Kira then, so why does it have to be so different now? Why are you refusing me? I'm not Kira anymore. I haven't used the Death Note since Higuchi died. I'll admit, that was me, but that was the last time I used it. I swear to you, everything following that was the doing of this Kira. Her name is Tsukiko; she posted on a live chat board claiming that she was Kira. She proved it by killing that announcer on Sakura TV. You have to remember that. She killed Hiroshi too. So, are you happy? Are you satisfied yet? I can take you to her. I can help you capture her, but please, Ryuuzaki, don't condemn me. I realize that I was wrong in using the Death Note, so can't you forgive me? Can't we forget that this even happened?"

The flame subsided slowly, leaving behind a slight tranquil feeling. However, that feeling also disappeared once Light heard Ryuuzaki's coarse reply.

"Back then, I didn't know for sure. I never knew for sure." He blinked absently, his voice sounded so different, so much weaker than usual. "I could still believe that I was wrong. But now, now that I know for sure, I can't possibly deny what I know is true. You've validated it yourself, with your own words. I appreciate your telling me who this Kira is, but my thoughts as of now are with you. You're either Light or Kira, I suppose. So, which are you? If I could give you the Death Note and promise you honestly that I wouldn't tell anyone would you take it?" He turned to Light slowly, awaiting a response.

Light shook his head slowly, "No, I wouldn't." He said, the surest confidence raising the tone of his voice, "If it meant that I could stay with you, I wouldn't take it. You have to trust me." He held Ryuuzaki's hand tightly within his own and closed his eyes slightly.

"So many say that," Ryuuzaki whispered, "but so few actually mean it."

"Maybe-," Light hesitated to finish the sentence, he felt tears forcing against his closed eyelids and shook his head slowly, "maybe I'm one of those few. I've stayed with you throughout all of this, haven't I? I mean it, I really do. I'll stay with you; I'll take care of you. It doesn't matter what happens, the Death Note shouldn't even be a problem anymore. It's not even-."

"It's not the Death Note that's the case here," Ryuuzaki cut in harshly. "It's your being Kira that makes me uneasy." He turned to Light slowly, his gaze piercing like daggers, "Light," he said callously, "We can't do this anymore."

Ryuuzaki's lips continued to move, forming words that Light could not hear. He was deaf to everything, his eyes quivered as he gazed into Ryuuzaki's cold, onyx eyes. That moment seemed to continue for an eternity; his heart skipped every other beat, his stomach churned, and he gasped for even the slightest breath. "Wh- what?" Light forced the word through his tight lips, "You- you can't mean that. I love you, Ryuuzaki. Do you want me to just forget about you? Do you expect me to do such a thing?"

Shaking his head slowly from side to side, Ryuuzaki opened his mouth to respond. "That's always your answer, isn't it?" His voice was distant and wavered slightly as if he were close to tears, "'I love you.' That's all you can say, isn't it? Well, I-."

Light took the low collar of Ryuuzaki's long, white hospital gown, and after pulling him up slightly, kissed his cold lips forcefully. He tensed feeling the boy attempt to jerk away, but succeeded in holding him tightly in place. After endless moments, Light pulled away and bit his lip. Never before had a moment like that felt so empty. Every time they had kissed before this had been moments of pure ecstasy, but now it was different.

"Don't do that again," Ryuuzaki said stiffly as he wrenched free from Light's grip, "We need to stay away from one another now." He glanced at the boy through the corner of his eye and frowned, "I know I've said it so many times that you don't believe me anymore, but this time I mean what I say. It's over, Light."

Light felt his heart drop deep down into his churning stomach. _"It's over?" _He thought silently to himself as he stepped away from the bed absently. His feet carried him unconsciously through across the room to the closed door and into the hallway. He felt cold tears run down his cheeks as he ran down the empty, hospital hallways. Patients and nurses stopped and stared as he made his way to the double doors that led into the large parking lot.

"This was my fault," he whispered as he ran along the sidewalk, his vision blurred. The people who passed him were merely faded blotches of color through his eyes, and the narrow sidewalk seemed to coil before him like the body of a snake. "What can I do?" His thoughts swirled around in his head; he clenched his fists by his sides, unable to believe that this was really happening. He cringed, Ryuuzaki's words echoed in his ears. Was this a dream? No, he shook his head in response to his own thoughts. This was real; he had upset Ryuuzaki so much throughout their relationship. "I should have known," he scolded himself harshly, "I should have known that I was hurting him. Always, I hurt him. I never gave him a moment's peace. This is my fault; I did it."

"No," he slowed his pace, gradually ceasing his movements. He stood motionless in the midst of the mass of people, his eyes widening suddenly as reality soaked in. It was not Yagami Light who did this, it was Kira. Light turned suddenly, "Yeah," he whispered, narrowing his eyes harshly, "it was Kira."


	16. Chapter 15

A/N: Hey! So, this one took a while, I'll give you that. But, even though I doubt it's really as suspenseful as I imagined, I think this one was pretty good. Yeah, it lacks dialogue, and, yeah, it has some repetition, but I liked it. I hope it'll get your heart pumping like it did mine. Believe me; I had a good time writing this one, a better time than I have had with a lot of my previous chapters. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one. It's getting so close to the end that it's racking my brain. : ) I just hope that I can satisfy all of you!

A/N2: No worries, you'll get the happy ending I promised. ; )

Chapter 15

Light gripped the butt of the small, sliver revolver tighter within the palm of his hand. He shoved it deeper into the woolen pocket of his tight, azure sweater and glanced cautiously around himself. The bight, yellow streetlights shone down like spotlights upon him, and the pale, blue light of the crescent moon glimmered silver against the metal pipes that led down the sides of the tall, brick buildings that he passed slowly. In his free hand, he held his closed cell phone, the screen blinking emerald green constantly, signaling of an incoming call.

Ignoring the constant blinking of the device in his hand, Light continued down the narrow sidewalk, stomping through deep puddles in the cracked cement and creating wet footprints as he continued slowly. He did not know to where he was headed, he had admitted to himself not long before, but there was something, something that he was unsure of himself, that had to be done. This feeling, this constant anxiety, had begun the moment the reality finally sunk through his harsh exterior. Kira had done this, he had decided long ago, and with that realization, an anxiety unlike any other had risen within his stomach.

Glancing from side to side warily, Light closed his eyes and gave an infuriated sigh. There was no one there; there had not been a single soul on the streets for hours. The anxiety was picking away at him. Maybe, he thought to himself, this was all because of Ryuuzaki. He shook his head. No, Ryuuzaki was the most important thing in the world to him, and now he was gone. They were separated, their spirits completely severed from one another.

"There's no way I'm letting this happen," Light whispered almost as if to convince himself that the situation would somehow be resolved. Light continued, taking in shallow breaths. He knew that the only way to resolve it would be by his own hand.

By now, he knew nothing of Ryuuzaki's condition. His father had attempted incessantly to call Light's cell phone; that was the reason for the constant blinking of the emerald light. However, Light was determined not to answer the phone. His father could not, and would not, find out about any of this. What he did from here on out would be his business, and his business only.

Light bit his lip sharply. He was wandering down the deserted streets completely aimless; there was no denying it. He still did not know what his destination was or for whom the revolver in his tightly clenched left hand was meant. Light felt shivers run down his spine. It was different holding a gun from a notebook. He had, actually, very rarely as much as touched a gun, so the feeling of the trigger against his index finger was extremely unfamiliar.

The stillness of the late night loomed over him, disturbed only by the dripping sound of stagnant raindrops falling from the tall, gloomy buildings that towered around him like shadowed beasts in the dead of night. He held his breath; the constantly flickering emerald light became accompanied by a series of short pings. His father had been calling consistently for the three hours that he had spent wandering the lonely streets of downtown Tokyo. Light closed his eyes, ceasing the steady tapping of his black, leather shoes against the concrete. His mother would be worried, but even that did not phase him. His only concern was getting rid of Kira once and for all.

He cringed. Kira had caused so much pain, so much grief. Kira had killed innocent people. Light lifted his hands; the illusion of crimson blood staining his skin covered his eyes. He gazed horrifyingly, reliving the year that he had spent attempting to claim a thrown that was far out of his reach. He saw before him, in the looming darkness, the faces of all those he had killed, all those whose deaths he had caused. The names echoed in his ears. He closed his eyes tightly, rolling his hands into fists; the pressure of killing a human being was terrible and relentless. It pressed against him with the weight of the universe, causing his breath to come short. The unchangeable past hung above him like a mobile, twirling in circles as the stories of the lives he had taken, the faces of those he had killed, and the names he had written into that one terrible notebook played before him.

The past was more haunting than the present, Light realized for the first time in his life. He had taken human life for granted. That had pushed away everyone he held dear; that had caused the death of his closest friend; and that had ruined his life and caused his world to crash to the ground. The name that he had made for himself was no more than the flickering flame of the smallest candle from a million miles away. It meant nothing to him now. But, who would believe that? _"Kira can't change his mind about killing,"_ they would say. _"He's already started; he can't go back now."_

Light clenched his teeth, the weight was unbearable. He had no one left. His family? No, they would hate him once they found out the truth. After all, they all hated Kira, and they were one of the many who believed that he could not change. Ryuuzaki? Absolutely not, Light knew now, to his utter dismay that he had pulled far too many of Ryuuzaki's strings. He had committed suicide in that respect, and there was no going back. His friends? Light scoffed at his own thought and shook his head slowly. He had learned at Hiroshi's funeral that the only friends he still had were slowly turning against him. Light nodded slowly, he knew now, there was no one left. He was alone, finally alone.

Turing on his heels suddenly, Light began in the direction from which he had come. His steps were slow and his breath came short. He knew now what he had to do. If this body was all that he had left, then he would use it, for once in his life, for the better of human kind. He had decided he would get rid of the Death Note and Kira. He would kill two birds with one stone. He could do it. After all, the Task Force would find Tsukiko and ultimately execute her on charges of being Kira. She would be caught for sure, so if Light was dead, what would they have to worry about? If both Kira and the Death Note were gone, then what could go wrong?

"Right," Light reassured himself as he continued down the street. After a matter of roughly twenty minutes, he had passed every tall sky scraper and was now entering into the suburban part of town. He passed by every home, staring into the blackened windows and lit porch lights. Every once in a while, he would catch a window, out of the many, that was still illuminated by a constantly blinking television screen or a small reading lamp. He wondered unconsciously if his parents were even home; if his sister was sound asleep in her bed, dreaming about whatever it was that girls her age dreamt about. Were they thinking about him, wondering where he was?

The flickering of the emerald light from his cell phone had ceased minutes before. Did that mean that his father had given upon him? He shook his head slowly as he came nearer to the curb around which stood his home. His heart sunk into his stomach as he continued, slowly making his way down the street until he reached the spot directly across from the walkway that led up to the front door of his small house. Just as he had expected, the windows were completely blackened. His fathers black van sat in the driveway and the porch light shone like a distant beacon offering warmth and shelter. Light turned away and continued down the street. There was no turning back now.

The dark night drug on; there was no sign of life around him as he continued into the part of the city that harbored the Task Force Office. His hand clutched the revolver still in his pocket, and the other held the cold cell phone tightly, as if attempting to evoke even the slightest sign that someone, anyone was looking for him. He took slow steps as he neared the tall, sleek building that he knew all too well. One lone light illuminated the long, glass windows of half of the second floor, but otherwise, the building looked to be nothing more than a part of the vast black sky.

Light circled the building unconsciously, pushing at every window; pulling every door; and inspecting every possible entrance. There was nothing, but it was of no surprise to him. At this hour, it was no wonder that the security had become much stricter; stricter, quite possibly, than that of a governmental facility. For, they had something that they wanted to keep away from the world. Light pushed at the last window and bit his lip; they had left one person out of the equation. He took the gun from his pocket, lifting his arm so that it formed a straight line, and placed his index finger upon the trigger. "Me," he whispered before pulling the trigger and causing a loud bang followed by the crashing of broken shards of glass.

Without a second glance back, he leapt through the entrance that he had created and scurried through the darkness of the room. He took no time to examine his surroundings. He swung the closed doors open and ran down the familiar hallways until he was able to find the towering stairs that led to the lit second floor. Soon, if they had not already, they would find him out. They would come rushing down the stairs like a stampede of angry buffalo wanting only to capture him, to capture the true Kira.

Shoving this thought from his mind, Light leapt up the stairs two by two and pressed his back against the door frame, shoving the gun back into the shelter of his sweater pocket. _"It had to be a gun," _he heard a deep voice echo through the stairwell; "_there's nothing else that can make that sound."_ Light listened intently as the conversation continued, two sides of a quiet argument attempting to come to a compromise. Finally, after long moments, two men, one large, the other small, flashed past Light and down the stairs, not noticing his presence in the slightest.

Watching them only for a second, Light stepped into the doorway, this time slowly stepping through the lit hallways, glancing ever so often into one of the open rooms until he reached the one that he had searched for. Inside, sat two black notebooks along with various metal instruments, undeniably used to ensure that not everyone touched the notebook. Light walked into the room and up to the white counter upon which the notebooks sat. This was his chance, his final chance to make it right.

He took the revolver from his pocket and placed it upon the cold counter next to one of the horrible notebooks. After taking both of them into his arms he glanced around the room. A small lighter sat upon the counter across from him, causing his eyes to widen slightly as he reached desperately for it. Once he had taken it into his numbed fingers, he flipped through the pages of both notebooks. Inside, only the names that he, Misa, Higuchi, and Tsukiko had written were present. He smiled, he had half expected for his or Ryuuzaki's name to be written there.

He closed both notebooks slowly, placing a cold hand upon the black cover of one. He took his fingers from the hard cover and lit the lighter, slowly bringing it closer to the terrible weapons before him- the very things that had caused so much pain and shed so many tears. Soon, they would be gone. Without hesitation, he placed the flame above the top notebook, which immediately caught flames. Slowly, after seemingly endless moments, the two notebooks disintegrated, leaving behind a pile of ashes and a burnt black section of the pure, marble counter top.

Light sighed, overwhelmed with relief, and fell to his knees, releasing the lighter. He took the revolver into is left hand before allowing himself to fall back against the whitewashed wall behind him. It was over. The Death Notes were gone forever. He smiled. Finally, he had done something worth while. He glanced down at the gun in his lap and frowned slowly, closing his eyes tightly. Holding his breath, he wrapped his fingers around the butt and lifted the gun so that the cold, metal tip rested against his temple.

"This is the only way," he whispered as if to soothe his fiercely beating heart. "Without me, this world will be so much more peaceful." He shook his head and chuckled as if at his own stupidity, "I was wrong to think that Kira could bring anything but havoc and agony." His fingers quivered around the butt of the gun, his index finger locked against the trigger. "I'm better off dead."

He bit his tongue, inwardly apologizing for every mistake, every fault, every time that he had done anything but his best. And, as he reached for the trigger, a harsh blow to his right side knocked the gun from his hand to the opposite side of the room. He attempted to turn, to see who had ruined his plans, but the blows continued to come, accompanied by a harsh voice. "You selfish idiot," it spoke, "you don't deserve to die. You don't deserve the luxury of death." The words were repeated harshly as the blows became softer and slowly ceased.

Still shielding his face with his forearms, Light peered through his now blurred eyes. "Ryuuzaki," he gasped as he realized just who stood before him. He looked the boy over sorrowfully. Tears had stained his flushed cheeks, and his generally unkempt features were even more disorganized than usual. His body quivered as he gasped for shallow breaths. "What did you-?"

Ryuuzaki swung another kick at the boy's right arm and dropped to his knees. "Why would you even consider that?" His voice shook as if he were extremely close to tears, "You're so selfish." He lifted a pale hand to Light's left cheek and slapped him harshly, leaving a blazing red mark behind. "Why can't you think of someone else for once?" He lifted his hand once more, this time brushing over the welt that he had made with his thumb. "Selfish," he repeated, gazing into Light's distant eyes.

Light jerked out of the boy's grip, "It's over, you said so yourself, Ryuuzaki. It'll be better for you if I'm dead." He tripped over his own words as Ryuuzaki locked his arms around his neck.

"How come-," Ryuuzaki began, pulling closer to the boy who sat before him. "How come every time I feel like I'm ready to throw these feelings away, you do something that makes me realize how much I really-," he hesitated, "really-." His words were cut off as he leaned forward, pressing his lips against Light's.

Closing his eyes slowly, following Ryuuzaki's example, Light felt the boy's heartbeat quicken. "Wait," he whispered lifting his hands to Ryuuzaki's shoulders, "are you positive," his voice hitched in his throat and quivered slightly as he forced the words through his lips, "that you want to spend the rest of your life with Kira, with a murderer?"

Ryuuzaki shook his head, drawing somewhat closer to the boy, "I won't be," he whispered, "you're not Kira any longer." The corners of his lips lifted slightly as he continued. "I watched you," he began, "burn the Death Notes." He shook his head as if reading Light's thoughts and smiled, "They were the real notebooks, don't worry. I never would have expected it from you." He leaned forward, pressing his sweat-soaked forehead against Light's, "But, I suppose, you wouldn't have done it if you were still Kira."

Ryuuzaki lifted a hand to the Light's heaving chest and smiled, pure warmth radiating from his face, "It's over, Light," he whispered, stroking his collar bone affectionately, "it's over. I'm here now, and I'll be here."

* * *

This is not the end... : )


End file.
